3 Ways To Protect Your Mental Health This Christmas — By Caroline Emile
It’s the most wonderful time of the year for many of us. And yet, whether you celebrate or not, the festive season can also be the most stressful time of the year! This applies every year, before we’ve even added COVID-19 into the mix, which we’ll all inevitably be doing this year, so here are my top tips to help you nimbly navigate your way through to 2021 with your mental and emotional wellbeing in positive condition:
1) Manage Expectations
We can easily feel pressured at this time of the year to do more, spend more, eat and drink more … you name it! It’s therefore key to allow yourself to step away from all the external ‘chatter’ coming your way from family and friends, advertisers or society at large luring you to stretch yourself physically, emotionally and financially, and ask yourself how you truly want to experience this season:
- Do you really want to play host on Christmas Day again or attend the annual gathering at your in-laws’?
- Can you really afford to splash out on that luxury holiday for your partner or on fancy gifts for all of your siblings’ children?
- Do you really enjoy spending days putting up all those lights and decorations all over your home?
It’s always healthy to pause and reflect on why we do what we do, and this year, COVID-19 has made it even more important than ever before that we honour our true needs rather than seek to appease others out of fear of being judged.
So whether you’re uncomfortable with mixing with those outside of your immediate household, or you need to cut your Christmas spending because your finances have been thwarted by the lengthy lockdowns, or whatever other seasonal habits you’d like to change because they really fill you with more dread than joy — allow yourself to be honest, both with yourself and with others. Change is seldom easy, so why not leverage the 2020 theme of ‘a new norm’ to purposefully redesign your life?
Yes, it may initially upset the person inviting you or expecting you to host them as usual, or your child may sulk for a couple of days that they won’t get that costly gift they had their eyes on. However, in the long term, it will be far more beneficial for everyone that you prioritised protecting yourself and your loved ones from exposure to a potentially deadly virus, or that you didn’t risk your mental health from the unnecessary strain you would have put yourself under, just for the sake of a few days of fun.
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2) Identify Your Triggers
We may spend more time at Christmas with family and friends than we normally would, which increases the chances of our being ‘triggered’ by them. When this happens, we react disproportionately to a comment or behaviour due to unhealed emotional wounds that — under normal circumstances — would not bother us much. For example, if you fly into a rage or burst into tears when someone comments on your outfit, this is likely due to your being triggered as it reminded you (consciously or unconsciously) of when your clothes were cruelly ridiculed by a classmate as a child.
Alternatively, you may get triggered by certain people, no matter how well-intentioned their comments are e.g. by your Uncle John or parent-in-law because you generally have a strained relationship with them.
So take some time to reflect on who or what can make you lose emotional control within seconds, then prepare yourself with a suitable coping mechanism. For example, you may decide that if you feel yourself getting triggered, you’ll count to three silently in your mind then make a dash outside to get some fresh air, or phone a trusted confidante to offload your experience. The more self-aware and prepared you become, the less intense a triggering situation will likely be, and the more peace you’ll be able to enjoy.
3) Be OK With Not Being OK
Finally, you may not be feeling festive at all this Christmas. Perhaps it’s your first one without a loved one or you feel lonely as a single person at this time of year. Whatever the cause, acknowledge it rather than trying to cover your emotions by trying to fit in with those around you.
You may find it beneficial to journal around what you’re feeling, or if you dislike writing, speak it out loud and record it on your computer or phone. Often, just the act of releasing any trapped emotions is sufficient to help relieve us. At other times, we may need more time to heal, however we’d have still taken a step forward on that path.
Whichever the case, give yourself the love and patience that you would give to others in your position, and don’t pressure yourself to feel a particular way during this season.
Similarly, if someone around you is struggling to embrace the season as you’d like them to, reassure them that this is their right and that you’re there for them regardless.
With a little more honesty, love and compassion (for ourselves and others), we can truly all have a more joyful, peaceful and heart-warming Christmas!
Caroline believes that happiness is a choice and can be cultivated by anyone. Experiencing breast cancer in 2017 fuelled her to pursue her mission of empowering individuals to unleash the best version of themselves one day at a time. In 2019, she received the Women’s Economic Forum’s Award of ‘Iconic Women Creating A Better World For All’.
Edited by Lola Sherwin.
Would you like to share your story or expertise with our readers? Contact our editor-in-chief, Rafael dos Santos, by clicking here.
High Profile Magazine Editor-in-chief Rafael dos Santos
