Her Highness AlSayyida Basma Al-Said: The Princess Advocate of Mental Health — Interview by Rafael dos Santos
Her Royal Highness Sayyida Basma is a working princess from Oman. Sayyida means ‘princess’ in Oman — just so our readers understand, her name is not Sayyida, this is her title! So, Sayyida Basma, what is the day-to-day life of a modern princess like?
That’s really the golden question, so many people ask me that! Princesses are often perceived as something from a fairytale, you know the kind of princess that spends her days drinking tea and eating cake. The reality is that we actually do have to do work! We wake up in the morning, check on our kids, go to work, have social obligations — it’s just like everyone else’s life!
In this day and age there isn’t enough time to be a fairytale princess, and I think that the lovely thing about royal families now is that we can show how strong women can be. We really do everything that other people do — we work, we drive, we have our businesses, and a lot of us also work in the government here, so it’s not quite the same as the fairytales. I also have three cats! My Persian cats, they’re the real princesses.
I think it’s true that we all have a fairytale perception of princesses. From reading your profile, I know you’re a psychotherapist who has done a lot of studies, and when I was reading, I thought wow she is actually a normal working woman! It really made me realise that we all have different perceptions of certain things, especially if we are from different cultures. So it’s good to know that even as a Sayyida, a princess, you still look after your kids! I’m sure you have some perceptions of other cultures, too.
I definitely have a perception of Brazil! I think in my head, everyone in Brazil dances samba day and night, which is awesome! If I think of Brazil, I think of music, colours, good food, but really it isn’t just those things, it is also a lot of other things. As humans we all make these mistakes sometimes!
It’s not totally wrong! We do have a lot of good food, and your perception of Brazil is very positive, so thank you! Let’s talk about your background. You have a BA in Mental Health, you have a Masters, you went to Harvard, and more! It’s a very impressive background! Where did your passion for the field of mental health come from?
I’ve always been interested in mental health. In school I always wanted to listen to people’s problems and try to help people out. I read a lot of books about scientists in mental health, and when the chance came for me to pursue my studies in psychology, that was the happiest moment of my life.
When I first started in the 90s, my father thought it would be better for me to study computer science — I was good at opening a computer so my father thought that was the career for me! He was like, what is mental health? Who would come to see you? And all of that, but thankfully he was eventually convinced, and I could continue studying it.
I went to work in the university hospital, then I trained at Harvard, at Michigan University, at King’s College in the USA and in Kent! I kept on training in so many countries because I needed all the tools I could get! Every human is different, there’s no one book or study that fits everyone, so I needed to learn everything I could. Mental health is my passion, it’s not just a job for me. When I went to do my Masters in Australia, I also studied psychology, and I started to study things related to relationships such as sexology, and I also studied art therapy… everything to do with mental health really!
In Brazil, we’ve only just started talking about mental health, so there are some cultures that I guess don’t understand it quite as much yet. Is it more difficult to speak about mental health in a culture that is not as developed in this field as, say, the UK or the US?
A lot of people think it’s a lot easier in the US or the UK, but having travelled to all of these countries I think it’s all pretty similar. Mental health will always be a tough topic to talk about, but I don’t think there’s a huge difference between countries. I suppose countries like those do more awareness campaigns in the media and the government, so that’s a difference, but when it comes to studies, we all have the same problems, because we are all human.
In our regent, talking about mental health seems to be the fashion now. Everybody talks about depression and suicide, but it’s almost like it’s a new thing. The sad thing is when things become trends like this, it can be very dangerous. It’s so dangerous to give people the wrong information about mental health, because it can actually affect their whole lives. It’s a topic that needs to be delivered in an easy-to-digest but informative way.
You have started many initiatives in Oman, including the Not Alone campaign, which was hugely successful. What are you most proud of with that campaign, and what results did you achieve?
I called Not Alone my baby because it’s under the umbrella of my tenet, and I had always said that when I have a clinic I want to give back to society, and I want the people who work with me to believe in this too. My proudest moment is having been able to help people, not just in Oman but internationally, and that’s what Not Alone does. We’ve started doing everything virtually and now we have a huge outreach, and it feels amazing to have something this good come out of my country. I want people to see how mental health is important, but I also want them to understand that everything we do in life is related to our mental health. The problem is it has been made out that mental health issues just mean crazy people running in the streets, but it’s not that! There are levels of mental health. But my proudest moment would be being able to hear people talk about this and say this has come from Oman!
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Besides Oman being my country, I also always find that it’s a diamond. Before you clean a diamond it’s full of dust, but after it’s been cleaned you can see that it’s beautiful, and that’s how I feel about Oman, it’s like a hidden gem in the Middle East. Maybe not many people know about it, but once people start talking about it they realise how beautiful it is. This pandemic is making us all more grateful, and we are realising that we are all humans, regardless of religion and race and anything else. In the end, we are all humans, and that’s what is important.
You also work as an activist to combat domestic violence and violence against women. I think this is such an important topic for women from all backgrounds, because these things can happen to anyone, so I want to talk a little about that. In your opinion, what should governments and charities need to do to educate on this topic and eradicate domestic violence?
Sadly, domestic violence has been happening for centuries; if we read through history, there has always been abuse, be that against women, against children, whoever, it’s always been there. Over time I’ve noticed a lot of campaigns. Some of them have been really effective, others have sadly been seen as women complaining. I think the best campaigns are those that would touch anybody’s heart.
As a country, I feel that the government needs to work together more closely on this issue. I think it’s something that needs to start from schools, because education is so important in combatting this issue. We tend to not think of teaching people about these issues until something has happened that brings it up, but we need to start teaching before problems occur, not after. All governments should unite together, we need to take domestic violence seriously — it isn’t a cultural thing! It’s happening everywhere. We need to teach children that this isn’t normal, so that they don’t engage in these behaviours as adults. We can start to do that with strong creative campaigns which create conversation around this issue.
Yes, awareness is very important, that’s for sure! So, moving on — you have a lot of experience with different cultures and trying different things. If you could talk to a younger Sayyida Basma, knowing what you know today, what would your advice be?
I’m very blessed to be able to travel, but I’m also blessed to be of mixed cultures. My mother is from the UK and my father is from Oman, so I’ve always had an understanding of two cultures which are very far away from each other. I would probably tell younger Basma, this might sound really cheesy, but I would say don’t be so hard on yourself! You don’t need to keep proving yourself, you’ve done a good job and you’ve worked hard to get here, it’s not just because of your title that you’ve got here. Be mindful, accept what you have achieved and build on that; I think that’s how you learn to feel good about yourself, but this is something I only came to understand when I reached the age of 40. At that age I started to practice mindfulness, and I began living in the moment and appreciating where I am. I used to feel shy when people read my CV, but now I’m proud of myself for my achievements, and I always try and live in the moment. Everyone is unique, and each one of us has our own specific skillset, but we often try to prove we are more than that and we lose track of who we really are, so appreciate yourself and you will do such an amazing job.
If you were given superpowers, what would the perfect world you would build look like?
My superpower would be mindfulness! Once you are mindful, you learn to be grateful, and you can do things because you are able to appreciate every minute of the day. It’s difficult to become mindful, so I think that’s why it should be a superpower, because once you have that you are able to appreciate yourself, you can work hard and you just enjoy your life more. I think with everything that’s happening right now, we are all learning to appreciate things so much more.
I think if abusers were mindful, maybe they would be more aware that what they were doing was wrong. A lot of abusers are not in their right mind, so it would be good for them to stop and think why they were doing that. Being grounded and living in the here and now is so important, so being mindful would be my superpower for sure.
COVID has definitely made us more grateful, I agree! Something so small can cause so much destruction and pain, so I think I’ve realised my health is definitely the most important thing, because who cares how many shoes I have? So yes, being mindful is so important. Let’s talk about Oman now, I am fascinated by Oman. If you could invite a Brazilian to Oman, what would be the top five things about Oman that you would want to show them?
Firstly, Oman is one of the most peaceful countries in the world. We are known for being friends to everyone and enemies to no one, and I’m very grateful for this, because peace and harmony is not something that is easily found in the world.
Secondly, the people are very friendly! They will always invite you in for lunch or to stay with them, they are very welcoming.
Thirdly, we have a beautiful landscape! We have mountains, seas, a very green place called Sula, a water oasis, beautiful deserts… we have it all!
The fourth thing is that we are one of the oldest countries in terms of history. We have such a rich history, and our family name is one of the oldest royal families in the world. The Saids have been the royal family for the whole of history, which puts us in royal history books. We have forts here which we gave us a few troubles with the Portuguese, leaving us with a beautiful history of a scary thing turned beautiful. We have witnessed how the made the forts and now we have a very unique water irrigation system which supplies all the counties in Oman and was made in a very mathematical way; I think that it is very interesting that our ancestors thought of this.
Finally, our amazing food is impossible to resist! Oman is lucky in that it used to be an empire which conquered a few places, and because of that we have such a wonderful rich mixture of cuisines in our food. This has also affected how we eat, how we dress, and the languages we speak — we all speak Arabic, English, and other languages — all of this has made the country very unique. Five points is hardly enough but those would be my top five!
On the point of food, because I don’t know any nation that does not love their food, what dish do you think everyone should try?
We have a very famous sweet called halwa which is made in Oman and is very nice, but our most unique dish is called shuwa. Shuwa is meat which is wrapped in banana leaves and is could in an underground sand over overnight. It is the most tender meat I’ve ever tried! I know in Brazil the meat is out of this world, though.
Thank you so much for speaking to me today, and I’m sure the readers will love reading about Oman, your work as a psychotherapist, and the fight against domestic violence. Thank you so much for your time!
Would you like to share your story or expertise with our readers? Contact our editor-in-chief, Rafael dos Santos, by clicking here.
