Anxious in Varanasi
By Margaret Manson
India, 16 November 2023 — Travelling West again. Leaving behind the holy frenzy of Varanasi.
This poem emerged from Jan Cornall’s list writing exercise but was equally “provoked” by a baffling critique given to me by our gorgeous troubadour, Anubrato Ghatak about another poem I wrote. This is a rhyming proof of the power of words. One word can create or destroy. Thank you, Jan and Anub.
Acrid words
turn to sweet chai
I am anxious … my soul hurts
But don’t quite know why
My mind is wide open
My senses alert
The colour, the texture, the smells…
My eyes avert
I don’t want to see
What my mind aims to present
The past is ahead, the future behind
And there is no now
To make me content
Unopened blue doors, and the
Gaping green
What lies at the end of the
Dim passage, deep, deep within…
Is there pure joy, will there be
Laughter?
Will the copper sun over the Ganga
Shine on me
Still before the after?
I cast my mind’s eyes to the
Golden haze
Jaisalmer’s memory coats tightly
My troubled brain’s maze
Then, the rivulets of the liquid gold
And the sounds and colour,
And history and thoughts.
Flow slowly together
To cast my new mould.
Will the mould fit me? Will it suit me well?
Will there be room for the bright wooden horses
The mirrors and the mad music
Of my life’s carousel?
As I leave, the chest full of feelings
India, the eternal, will here remain
And I need to step into
My own river of normality again.
Will it be the same?
Can I step into the same river twice?
Philosophers have asked, and answered
And then tossed the dice.
I want to shout, Ganesha, please
Give me my voice.
I don’t need to sing or speak, I just
Want to have choice.
© Margaret Manson, 2023.
Margaret Manson stopped writing poetry at the age of eleven but occasionally, she escapes into poetry when things get beyond tough. She is the founder of a marketing consultancy, InnoFuture, and a content strategist and writer for technology companies. For her clients, she creates original content just like any artist. Margaret joined Jan Cornall on the Story Hunters India tour in 2023 to be inspired and in search of her own voice. Jan showed Margaret how to write to prevent things from getting beyond tough. Margaret dares to imagine that one day she can replace her title from CMO on Demand to Writer in Demand. To be seen.
Margaret took part in Story Hunters India, a 16 day creative odyssey organised by Blue Swan Events with Writers Journey.
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