Relocating to Seattle

For myself — and many other transplants in this city — relocation is a slow and ongoing process of assimilation and of trying to make Seattle feel like home. The struggle strikes at the heart of human (and existential) needs like acceptance and belonging. It can be hard for people moving to a new city to feel like they belong, and perhaps that is for no other reason than our adopted home is always being compared to the home that we left.

In Seattle well over 50% of the population have taken the leap and relocated for purposes of education, work, finding liberal sanctuary (and escaping conservatism and right-wing strongholds), family or the incredible air quality. And despite all the valid reasons why people make this decision, relocation is often a very stressful process. Furthermore the psychological impact is not well recognized or acknowledged. Because so many people in the U.S. do relocate and they do so for reasons such as securing education or employment opportunities, they tend to feel that they shouldn’t talk about their struggle.

Change is a big part of why people seek out therapy. For highly sensitive people, life transitions such as relocation can have an even greater impact on mental health and well-being. It demands a high level of adjustment which can create anxiety and depression leading up to, during and even after the transition has occurred. Understanding how we process change, adapt to a new environment, manage cultural differences, assimilate and find belonging is important to minimizing the stress associated with relocation.

Social Connection

When moving to a new city, you may be in the the position of already having connections. For some, there is not a single point of contact. In either scenario it is likely that upon relocation, the contraction of your network of friends and family is noticeable, as is the sense of loss. Even considering those who are gregarious and outgoing, it is rare that people experience an easy social transition. Most would also argue that establishing new connections only gets harder as you get older.

Humans are social creatures, we come into this world dependent on others for growth and well-being and we continue to need others throughout our lives. There have been several studies conducted on the effects of loneliness on the body and mind (1). One philosopher I have read went so far as to suggest that loneliness is at the heart of mental illness (2); I share this to validate the very real distress caused by conditions of social isolation that people typically experience moving cities. It can be hard to risk being vulnerable enough to reach out for connection, but it is even harder on the spirit to endure loneliness and withdrawal.

The Mono-Cloud

I have yet to meet anyone that isn’t in awe of the natural beauty of the Pacific Northwest. There is a collective gratitude for our unique surrounds and, at the same time, there is a shared struggle in enduring the conditions that allow the forests (that we so admire) to exist. Along with many others, I have come to look forward to the rain following the dry summer (see this story). Nevertheless, the impact of months of overcast skies and low sunlight on people’s mental health should not be underestimated. This is true for people who have lived here for decades, as well as people new to the region.

Learning to live within the unique climate of the pacific Northwest can be an important part of the acclimatization process in this city. For those who struggle with seasonal adjustment disorder, investing in a sun lamp and day trips to the sunnier side of the Cascades can help. As do Vitamin D supplements.

Cultural adjustment

Moving from one U.S. state to another requires cultural adjustment, and the cultural differences can be amplified when you are moving to the U.S. from another country. The process of finding belonging in Seattle necessitates some understanding of the social and cultural context of the city.

Identity

The Pacific Northwest has a strong regional identity. People born here are quick to tell me this fact, and I can hear the sense of pride in their voice when they claim: “Seattle born and raised”. This is a phenomenon that I am unfamiliar with; it may be that there is less regional and state pride in Australia than the rest of the world, but it may also be that it runs particularly deep in America. And the pride can extend beyond a person’s hometown to the neighborhood and community they are a part of, the college they went to or the local organization they work for.

Other indicators of the PNW identity is the existence of the Cascadia independence movement (which spans the entire region in the shadow of the Cascade mountain range). This movement began with people advocating for bio-regionally coordinated policies, but it has come to represent a delineation of cultural ties, shared values and interests. Seattle — along with other cities in the PNW region — is infused with an identity that binds its people into community. This can also mean that when you are not from here, there is a feeling of being on the outside.

Social Experience

You might have heard Seattleites talk about a social phenomenon called the Seattle Freeze. Some of the conversations on this topic are centered around whether or not it is valid or “real”; trying to determine its validity can undermine a person’s very real experience of social isolation so I will steer my focus away from determining any objective truth. The Seattle freeze has been discussed in the context of Seattle’s colonial history of Nordic settlement; culturally, the Scandinavians are less effusive and more private or standoffish. An alternative conceptualization of the freeze is introversion, that is to say it is not coldness but instead it is a way of being that is less outgoing than people from other parts of the U.S. and the world.

For highly sensitive or introverted transplants, there might be an appreciation for a culture in which their boundaries, personal space and privacy are respected. Nevertheless when social needs are not met, people can begin to experience isolation, social anxiety and depression. In responding to these relocation pressures, people can help themselves by developing cultural sensitivity and an awareness of such norms, which are useful in interpreting social cues and making sense of confusing social experiences. Also, people can challenge themselves to be creative in the ways they connect to and seek out others.