Taking Care of Yourself during the Holiday Season

How do HSPs cope with all the extra festivities and errands marked on the calendar this month? For those on the sensitive and introverted ends of the spectrum, time spent around others and in busy, noisy environments can be energetically draining because it leads to over-stimulation of the central nervous system. During the holidays, they are faced with intense crowds on the streets, in malls and public spaces and struggle through a higher number of social events than what they are used to.

The festive season is typically a time when people are expected to show up and behave in a certain way. Just beneath the surface of holiday cheer may be an experience of anxiety or stress due to increased spending and social pressure, as well as depression or mood swings because of a perceived “failure” to meet certain expectations and obligations.

Highly sensitive people can feel even greater pressure to perform according to cultural norms when partaking in holiday traditions because of their high level of attunement to others. When there is dissonance between expected emotions and internal experience (which might be closer to anxiety, grief, isolation or exhaustion), the genuine emotions can be flattened and replaced with the smiles, laughs or expressions of gratitude that make others comfortable.

This can be particularly true in the context of family gatherings, where people may feel more visible or vulnerable to criticism and notice themselves being drawn into playing out familial dynamics. For people with heightened sensitivity, unresolved tension and grief within relationships can often feel like their burden to bear.

If you recognize this in yourself, remember that it is not your responsibility to fix the strains in the relationships of those around you. Be mindful of when you are being positioned in the role of mediator or triangulated into a conflict and remember it is OK to take space for yourself if you feel overwhelmed. This is also a time that people commonly experience anniversary grief. Remembering the loss of a significant person in your life might seem incongruent with the celebration of meaningful connection that is expected during the holidays, but it is important to honor the grief that emerges.

Other ways to be kind to yourself during the holidays:

• Allow yourself time between work, events and running errands to give your body and mind a chance to recover
• Give yourself permission to say no to others
• Have compassion for the range of emotions that arise in you
• Where possible schedule shopping/gift buying at times where crowds feel more manageable
• Listen to what your body needs
• Set boundaries, particularly with family
• Create rituals and traditions that work for you (solo or shared)