No Ifs, Ands, or Butts
I can’t make this shit up
Some of you are going to hate me when you’re done reading this.
That’s fine. I’m a grown-ass woman, I get paid to write, and sometimes life is just too damn funny not to share with you.
I went to see a proctologist today.
For the uninitiated, that’s a doctor who specializes in colon and rectal disorders. So y’all can see where this is going now.
(I live in Texas. I’m allowed to say “y’all” now. In fact, they fine you if you don’t use it at least once a month, I’m told.)
So y’all just sit back while I share this disgusting and heartwarming tale of my visit today. Those of you who are easily offended and have no sense of humor can leave now. You too, Mike Pence.
Shit’s gonna get real.
I’m over 50, and that daring but beautiful age comes with some medical hiccups. Stuff you never really thought about when you were 25 starts to take center stage.
I just wish my butt wasn’t one of the areas where I’m having…problems.
Butt, there we are. (Sorry)
I attended a conference last week, and I’d apparently not eaten a very balanced diet for a while, because a few days before, I had a little trouble pooping…
