The Legs Rule
You have no right to exist if you need so many legs
I’m afraid of snakes.
Which isn’t great, considering I now live in the most snake-infested state in the U.S. Texas is home to 68 different species of snakes, and sadly, nobody is able to count how many snakes live here because the little buggers are so mobile. And they like to hide.
Every time I go outside, I’m on the alert for snakes. I’m convinced they’re hiding under my patio furniture. I’m certain they’re lying in the grass, waiting to strike. I worry about running into snakes when I’m walking my dog.
So far, in eight months, I’ve seen one snake. I was on a bus, headed to go river tubing, and I saw a snake swimming in a river. The slithery little dude was floating right on top of the water.
Somehow, I still went tubing. And I saw no further snakes.
All this talk of snakes brings me to the point of this story, my “Legs Rule.” I don’t remember when I came up with the rule, but it goes a little something like this:
No less than two, no more than four.
That means fish, sharks (fish with teeth), snakes, and worms are OUT.
So are those with too many legs: spiders, cockroaches, ants, flying insects, and the like.
