A new approach to anger

Usually, people have two ways of dealing with anger:

1. I’m right, so I’ll stand by my anger and defend it until the death.
2. I’m wrong, so I better suppress this anger, fear, etc. and pretend it never popped up.

But what if you took a third approach? One that said, “I’m wrong. But this anger is a very real thing. I won’t suppress it. Instead, I’m going to let this emotion run its course and express it in a controlled manner.”

Because usually, when we’re angry, we’re standing with one foot in the right and the other foot in the wrong.

What you resist persists. What you look at heals. Don’t resist it. Don’t add fuel to it. Just look at it. Let it express. And move on.

I learned this one from my 1.75-year-old, Rory. She’s been the best teacher I’ve ever had.


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This essay first appeared on JonasEllison.com

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