Filling the void within
I know it when I feel it…
This deep pit in the middle of my being that I strive to fill.
No, not that tug in my gut I get when I drive by a Chipotle…
But that feeling of emotional emptiness. Like I just need to get something or do something so I can be full again.
After all, those perfect people on Facebook said I should be living a life of greatness, didn’t they? Maybe I should buy their info course for $29.95 and figure out how to do that (in, of course, 7 easy steps).
Load me up with approval.
Pump me full of piety.
Tell me how great I am.
Do what I want you to do.
Fill me up. Now.
This void stems from a belief in lack. Of not-enoughness. A belief I bought into as a kid that was sold to me from the same inadequacies of my elders.
I find myself constantly trying to fill it.
But what if this void was a lie? A myth? A story?
What if I bought into a different story? One that says I’m already full. One that revealed to me that I was born full, whole, complete…
One that shows me that my job in this existence is to portray my fullness by living a life of this nature. A life of giving. Not so much in a material sense (although that’s part of it). But in an emotional sense.
When I live life from a place of attempting to fill up an empty hole, I proclaim to the world my emptiness.
But when I live life from a place of pouring my whole Self into everything I do, I proclaim to the world my wholeness.
The void in my soul is an illusion. Wholeness is my reality.
This one small mental shift transforms how I carry myself through my world.
When I remember it, I start showing up as an instrument of creativity instead of an empty vessel waiting to be filled. I lean forward into life.
Oh, I’ll take the chicken burrito, with white rice, pinto beans, corn salsa, and everything else on it btw.