Have You Ever Been Called Damaged Goods?
If you’re a man, probably not
I’ve been divorced twice and married three times. And oh, I’ve been the butt of a joke or two. I’ve had to grin and bear it. Funny though, my older brother has the same track record, but no one ever makes snide remarks or jokes about “all his wives” or “you must be hard to live with.” You would think the old double standard, “being referred to as “damaged goods” or “unable to maintain a relationship’ would be dead, but no, it’s alive and well. So, yeah, I wore the cloak of shame for many years because of it.
But I want to say, divorce or multiple marriages doesn’t define your worth. And this is something I’ve had to work on for a long time to get to a point where I believe that statement. And I do believe that.
Each relationship is a part of our growth and journey. It’s something we needed at the time. Not all relationships are meant to be “till death do us part” — even though that might be the intention when we made those vows.
It’s time to shift the narrative and instead of seeing divorce as failure, honor the courage it takes to make hard choices, because they are hard, to leave, to try it again, and all the lessons learned along the way. Society’s expectations don’t necessarily have to be ours!
If you’ve been made to feel that you were a failure, or that somehow you are less than because you were brave enough to leave when you knew a relationship had run its course or it wasn’t right for you (or maybe you were left) — stay connected with people who support you, love you, be kind to yourself, let go of the shame and embrace your resilience. You are worthy just as you are. Believe it.
