I’ve Been With Her 18 Years, and This Skill Has Kept Us Together
Learn to collaborate and problem-solve together, and your married life will be easier.
Two years ago, my wife and I bought a bicycle shed online. We expected “some assembly required,” but we didn’t expect the entire thing to arrive in pieces, leaving us to construct it part by part. What we didn’t realize at the time was that this would turn into a test of our marriage.
Premarital Counseling
Sixteen years ago, when my then-fiancée suggested premarital counseling, I was skeptical, given my cultural background. But, having had positive experiences with mental health providers in college, I agreed to give it a try.
That decision was one of the best things I could’ve done. Our counselor, a man in his fifties who had been married for a long time, had an uncanny ability to ask the right questions at the right moments. He knew when to step back and let us talk, only stepping in when necessary. One thing he said has stuck with me ever since: “You two are natural problem-solvers. You’ll have good days and bad days, but you’ll figure it out because you work well together.”
