Married and Living Alone
Do you feel like roommates?
You’re married and living under one roof but feel like roommates.
After being served divorce papers, I realized what I was lacking in the marriage.
You’re living alone because you don’t communicate with your wife. You feel your wife isn’t meeting your demands. She isn’t providing enough for you or the marriage. And until she does, you’re not providing for her.
Then, the silent treatment begins.
The love and passion that was once there is now fading. You both start to drift apart. You go your way, and she goes her way. This is living alone under one roof.
Marriage is work. It isn’t a fairy tale in which two people fall deeply in love and live happily ever after.
Marriage is 50/50. If you aren’t doing your part, your marriage will suffer, along with your wife.
Marriages going wrong come from limiting beliefs and pain from the past brought into the marriage.
Marriage is for two complete people to come together and become one. Too many marriages start off as two incomplete people coming together and believing that marriage will complete them. This is just not true. You must be complete before coming into the marriage.
This is where the trouble begins.
Neither one is complete, and they are bringing their baggage along with them for their spouse to deal with. This simply won’t work.
You must let go of your past first to be complete; to do this, you must be conscious of your behaviors. Behaviors are the byproduct of your pain.
You know the behaviors I’m talking about yelling, screaming, fighting, trying to prove you’re right and she’s wrong. Yeah, those ones.
Then run out of the house. And then wash it all down with a few beers or more. And then wonder why the house is always quiet because you’re living alone.
That roommate you’re living with is your wife, and she’s looking for her husband. Where might he be?
You must be vulnerable. Talk to your wife about your issues and your past. You have to tell her everything! You can’t leave any of the details out of your story. I know you have a story to tell. Tell it to your wife.
Telling your story to your wife opens up communication between the two of you. Communication starts a whole new level of relationship, and it lets your wife know you’re human.
You have a lot of anger and pain within you that you need to let out. Let it out. Yell, get angry, and cry and cry and cry and cry. Let out all of your pain. Talking about it frees you of the pain.
Your wife is the best person to talk to. Ask her to help you. She will understand.
I had so much pain and ugly inside me I was carrying around with me. I was constantly releasing it out on my wife. It never even occurred to me how she was feeling. I never considered her feelings.
When you start to heal your pain, which takes time but does happen once you begin the process, you will see and, more importantly, feel the change in you. You will be a new you.
When you release all of that ugliness that’s within you, you will begin to have love and empathy for your wife.
You two will become closer than you have ever been.
When I started to notice my behaviors, I was able to change them. I apologized to my wife for how I was treating her. We talked, and I changed my ways.
We called off our lawyers—yeah, that’s how far it went. We stopped the divorce, worked out our issues as a team, and put the past in the past where it belongs.
We talked, and now we communicate with one another.
We are happily married!
