Notes on Fourteen Years of Marriage

Had I known it was going to be this good, I would have done it sooner.

René F. Najera, MPH, DrPH
Highest Happiness

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I’m going to get personal this time and tell you some of my notes and thoughts after fourteen years of marriage. To those of you who’ve been married more than that, fourteen years might not seem like many. (Congratulations on holding together a marriage that long, by the way. What’s your secret? Tell me in the comments.) But, to those who are just starting your relationships with “the one,” there are some nuggets of wisdom I’d like to share with you.

It’s Not A Contest

I think one of the biggest mistakes I made in other relationships was to take the whole “50/50” thing too seriously. If I did something for the person I was dating, I expected something of equal or greater value in return. And I certainly carried some of it into my relationship with Mrs. N, and into our eventual marriage.

“Hey, I did the dishes,” I would say proudly.
“Good for you,” she would reply. “Now we can eat from clean plates.” I would then stand around waiting to be praised for something that was my job, something that was as beneficial to me as it was for her. Or, when she would do the laundry or clean around the house, I’d immediately panic and try to outdo whatever she had done.

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René F. Najera, MPH, DrPH
Highest Happiness

DrPH in Epidemiology. Public Health Instructor. Father. Husband. "All around great guy."