Wired Differently
It is hard to be angry at your wife
It is hard to be angry at your wife.
When I first heard this line, it was from a guy complaining about his wife to his friends, I felt weird. The guy is talking about how his wife hit something while reversing with his new car. If I remember correctly, the car was only 3 weeks old from the date he picked it up from the dealer.
The rear bumper was dented and scratched a bit. Looking at it stings his heart. Understandable of course. His sigh was so heavy. “If I get angry at her, she will not want to drive anymore,” He continued sighing.
It amused me at first. If I were in his shoes, and the role was reversed, if my husband hit something with my brand new car I would be mad, furious, and probably kick my legs and throw a tantrum on the ground. It’s a big deal to me, my car is a local brand and the cheapest car in the country but it’s still a big purchase. Cars are not cheap no matter what price it is. We pay for it with our hard-earned money.
Now that I am married, I am making careless mistakes as I always do, like forgetting my car key is still in the car and not remembering it two days later. When I needed to use the car again, I flipped the house searching for the key. Frustrated, only to find the key inside my car. I realized I had forgotten to bring the key with me when I was exiting the vehicle.
This also meant that my car hadn’t been locked for two days!
“We are lucky we live in a generally safe neighborhood,” my husband said
I told my husband what happened and he seemed annoyed, but I saw him trying hard to choose the right words to respond. He is angry but he is covering it. This is one of the many situations of him trying not to be angry with me.
Why is that? Why wouldn’t he be angry with me?
My husband is the kind of person who doesn’t use harsh words or raise his voice when he is angry but we have been together for a long time, I know when he is angry. I asked him about this once, why he can’t be angry at me.
I don’t remember his exact answer, but I remembered that I was not satisfied with it.
So I asked myself how I would react if he had been angry with me about the keys that had been left in the car for two days. The answer is, I realized that I would probably sulk if he were to get angry with me. While it may not seem like a big deal, I’d probably avoid driving just because of this small-clearly-my-mistake issue.
I am what the guy has been describing his wife’s actions if he gets angry at her. It is not a big deal and it is not logical, but that is what me and his wife are going to do. Being petty and not wanting to drive anymore. We are making a big deal out of it.
Is this what people mean when they say that men and women are ‘wired’ differently?
