How To Stay Positive After Negative Dating Experiences

Don’t let lousy dating experiences drag you down.

Hily Dating App
Hily
3 min readNov 9, 2020

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Photo by Raychan on Unsplash

Some first dates have one thing in common: they can be a massive waste of time. It’s easy to get disappointed since you’re investing a lot of time and effort without getting back much in return.

However, don’t let bad dating experiences drag you down. There are ways we can maintain a positive attitude and win the dating game! As an experienced Matchmaker & Relationship expert, Lisa Clampitt is going to address the NUMBER ONE issue she hears all the time, which is: How to Stay Positive After Numerous Dating Experiences?

Tip #1: Take responsibility

The first tip is to stop making a victim of yourself. Instead, track your dating patterns and take responsibility for your dating life — for bad and good. By doing this, you’ll feel empowered and change the outcome of your dating experiences.

Tip #2: Put on your pink glasses

While it’s always useful to be cautious and wary, nitpicking can turn your dating life into hell. Simply, by trying to find the flaws in your date, you are setting yourself for failure.

Instead, make sure to look at your dating life from a more optimistic angle. We don’t say you shouldn’t take precautions but don’t allow yourself to overthink and lose the opportunity to find your true match.

Tip #3: Set Expectations and Be Curious

If you’re setting realistic expectations for a date and allow yourself to be curious, you’re going to have more fun at dates.

So, instead of putting too much pressure on a first date, go with the sole goal of enjoying yourself and meeting new people.

Be curious, ask a lot of questions, learn about the other person instead of blocking yourself with an immediate judgment that this person isn’t right for you, which will ruin your experience.

Tip #4: Find the diamond within

We’re always trying to show the best of ourselves during the first dates. However, obsessing about how your date should perceive you, and building a wall around you, so you don’t get hurt, won’t take you far.

Instead of pretending and hiding your authentic self, you should allow your date to get to know you better. By doing this, you are allowing this person to put their walls down and connect with you on a deeper level.

Tip #5: See the Positive versus the Negative

Find ways that you can say yes versus no. Instead of saying, “Oh my god. This guy is 5'9 instead of 5'11,” say, “Wow! This guy is really serious about finding a relationship. He’s curious about me; he showed up on time; he chose a great restaurant. He is someone that I need to pay attention to.”

Find all the reasons to say yes, and look at what you do like versus what you don’t. Having a positive outlook and if you are looking at reasons why something could work, gives you lots of opportunities.

Tip #6: Remember — Everyone is just trying to survive.

Avoid being judgmental towards your dates. The truth is, everyone is trying to survive in this harsh world and need someone who will understand them and comfort them, instead of someone who will judge their every move.

Remember — you’ve got to continue dating with an open mind and a positive attitude to be successful. When all else fails, keep dating, stay positive, keep an open mind, and remember everyone wants to find love and it’s just around the corner!

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Hily Dating App
Hily

The smartest dating app there is, Hily caters to those tired of endless swiping. On Medium we're gladly sharing our expertise in dating.