Hello, I’m Jan and I’m a happy person.
But it doesn’t look that way most of the time. I have a serious case of a resting bitch face. I frown a lot. I just don’t look like your classical definition of a happy person.
If you ask my friends, the most common ideas would revolve around “grumpy”, shortly followed by “I don’t really know what his deal is”. I don’t fit my friends’ definition of happiness.
And yet, I consider myself to be a very happy person. It’s not magic. It’s a matter of perspective. Let me tell you a bit more about me.
So, what is happiness, really?
I see a big difference between being happy and being jolly. The latter is what I always imagined when anyone said “happy”. Someone who laughs a lot. Someone who is always shining and is in the centre of every conversation. Someone who emanates joy.
I learned it’s something a lot of people imagine.
I’m not jolly. I’m introverted and socially awkward. I do enjoy being out with friends but I also need to be on my own every now and then. I enjoy closing myself in a room and designing/coding something new.
I used to think I’m a little broken.
When I’m chilling somewhere at an event/party, people tend to come to me, asking if everything is okay. Every now and then I even get the supportive hand on the shoulder…
But everything is okay. Everything is more than okay.
I have my own definition of happiness. It took me quite some time to figure it out but it’s perfectly okay for my happiness to be different from everyone else’s. My happiness might not be very flashy or very open. It might not be what you consider to be happy but it’s what’s working for me.
Where’s the trick?
All the little things in life
I’m working on my happiness on a daily basis. Step by step, bit by bit.
I stopped waiting for the big happy moments for months. I try to enjoy the smallest things that brighten up my day. The smallest moments every single day. Not flashy, not grand, but still happy.
Has the bus just arrived when you came to the bus stop? WINNING.
Also, I stopped beating myself up for the tinies thing that didn’t work out. Sh*t happens, that’s how life is. No need to make a big deal out of it. No need to linger in the negative details.
But has the bus just left when you came to the bus stop? Meh, another one will come soon.
It takes a bit of effort but hey, it’s great
“Working on my happiness, every day”? Ugh, I know. So much effort. It takes some time to figure it out. But isn’t it worth it?
In the end, it’s all about where you put your focus. You see what you want to see. It’s not always easy to see the good things at first but it gets easier with practice. There are so many happy little moments out there.
