A Guide to Using Lubricants

Q&A with Sexual Health Expert and Ob/Gyn Dr. Leah Millheiser

Hims & Hers recently launched a lubricant (sold online and in Target stores) and we’ve been getting a lot of great feedback about it. In fact, check out this fun ASMR TikTok Cosmopolitan created using it! Given all the interest in our lubricant, we thought it’d be a great idea to tap into our resident sexual health expert, Ob/Gyn Dr. Leah Millheiser, to share details about who uses lubricants, as well as how/where/when/why. Also, if you’re interested in trying out a new lubricant, reading the below will help you decide which is best for you!

Q: Can you explain what a lubricant is?

A: A lubricant is a substance that is used to reduce friction. A “personal lubricant” is often used during sexual activity, either with a partner or alone. Personal lubricants can be water-based, oil-based, silicone-based, or a hybrid of water and silicone.

Q: Most people associate the use of lubricants for sexual intercourse — are they used for anything else?

A: People most commonly use lubricants for vaginal and/or anal intercourse. If engaging in anal intercourse, a silicone-based lubricant is more effective than a water-based lubricant due to its enhanced friction-reducing properties. People do use personal lubricants for other reasons, including: as a massage oil (silicone-based, oil-based), for assistance inserting tampons or menstrual cups, while using sexual devices such vibrators, dilators, or anal toys, to prevent chafing during sport activities such as running or swimming in a wetsuit (silicone-based), prevention of hair frizz in humid weather (silicone-based), etc.

Q: Are there any hygiene standards or recommendations in using lubricants? (i.e. if lubricant is used for sexual intercourse, when do you need to shower? Should you wash your hands before using lubricant? etc.)

A: There really aren’t. It’s completely up to the user as to whether they want to clean the lubricant off right away or wait until their next bath or shower. Silicone and oil-based lubricants are slightly more difficult to wash off compared to the water-based lubricants. However, there are no safety concerns or guidelines regarding when and how to clean the lubricant off of your body. If you are prone to yeast infections, you may want to avoid lubricants containing glycerin (although the research data on this is limited). There are glycerin-free lubricants available.

Q: Many people associate lubricant usage with older populations and there’s still somewhat of a stigma out there for younger people using it — can you share anything about any standard age of people who use lubricants?

A: Individuals of all ages use lubricants. For example, premenopausal women on birth control pills may experience some vaginal dryness and discomfort during sex, so they often use a lubricant. Individuals of all ages who engage in anal intercourse typically use a lubricant. Lubricants are often used with sex toys (i.e., dildos, vibrators, anal toys) as mentioned before. Athletes use lubricants under their wetsuits or while running to prevent chafing. Silicone lubricants are used to tame frizzing of the hair. The list goes on and on!

Q: Is it normal for men and women to ask their physicians questions about lubricants? For example, is that a normal thing for women to ask their Ob/Gyn about?

A: My patients often ask me about lubricants, and when they don’t, I tell them! Sometimes, people are simply unaware of what a lubricant is used for, how common lubricant use is, and what the differences are amongst the various types. Water-based lubricants work well in younger women who may have some vaginal dryness as a result of using the pill or simply need a lubricant boost during sexual activity. Women who are perimenopausal or postmenopausal usually require a lubricant with a little more “oomph” when it comes to friction-reducing properties. For them, I typically recommend a silicone-based lubricant or an oil-based lubricant. Oil-based lubricants should not be used with latex items, such as male or female condoms or dental dams.

Q: In terms of privacy, is it safe to talk about lubricants and sex-related questions via telehealth messaging or video chat with a healthcare provider through the Hims & Hers platform?

A: Absolutely, telehealth is a great way for individuals to talk about sexual health. In fact, it’s possible that individuals may be more comfortable talking about sex via telehealth as they may feel less “judged” by their provider, thereby leading to greater disclosure about their sexual health concerns. Unfortunately, one of the more common reasons that patients don’t bring up a sexual health concern on their own is due to embarrassment. When a patient is communicating with a healthcare provider in the comfort of their own home via video or during an asynchronous exchange, some of that embarrassment may be reduced or eliminated.

Q: Do women who are trying to conceive really have to use a specific lubricant?

A: Yes, this is true. Many personal lubricants have ingredients or properties that can affect sperm motility and appearance, potentially hindering a sperm’s ability to fertilize an egg. This DOES NOT mean that using a lubricant alone will prevent pregnancy and should never be relied upon as a contraceptive. There are, however, certain lubricants on the market that are specifically formulated for individuals trying to conceive, such as PreSeed™.

Q: Is there anything specific people should be looking for when buying lubricant, according to why they are needing to use it?

A: Here are the guidelines that I give my patients:

• Premenopausal and need a little lubricant boost during sexual activity? Water-based or a hybrid lubricant is your best bet.
• Postmenopausal and experiencing vaginal dryness and pain during sex? Start with a silicone-based lubricant or an oil-based lubricant (but only if not using a latex barrier contraceptive, e.g., condom). If using an oil-based lubricant, stick to the natural oils, like coconut oil, olive oil, avocado oil, etc. Avoid any petroleum-based products as they may lead to inflammation.
• Engaging in anal intercourse? Use a silicone-based or an oil-based lubricant (same rule re: oil-based lubricants and latex condoms applies here — oil can break down the latex and make it less effective)
• Using a silicone sex toy or a silicone vaginal dilator? Use a water- or oil-based lubricant. Silicone-based lubricant can break down the material of a silicone sex toy or dilator.