Dear Yankee fans, let me introduce myself

My name is Phillie Phanatic and I was born in the 1977 NLCS out of the hatred and dislike that the Philadelphia Phillies fan base had for the opposing team’s players. The Dodgers pitcher, Burt Hooton, became so irrate about the booing and name calling that was coming down upon him that day that he was eventually kicked out of the game for arguing with the umpire over his calling decisions.

Yes, the Phillies lost that game and yes, the Phillies went on to lose that series. But it was this spirit that lies within this fan base that gave me life and therefor I will forever cherish their existence.

Now, as for you, Yankee fans and players, it’s been 59 years since our two teams last met. Back then I was not around to witness the slaughtering that took place of our beloved team by your powerful pitching line up. But that was then and this is now. Now I’m around to point out the many things people hate about the stereotypical “New Yawker”. I’m here to expose your true selves, just like I did during the Dodgers series when I kicked the crap out of Hollywood Joe in our boxing match in front of the Dodgers dugout.

Now, it appears one of your fans has done a most cowardly of acts and has stolen a mini-me (pictured above). If only he knew what these kinds of acts can do to TRUE fans. If I were you, I’d only hope that this thief returns him before it’s too late. Before I, the captain of the Phanatic spirit, has to take matters into his own hands.

I look forward to welcoming your team and any of your daring fans to Citizens Bank Park come this Saturday. If you do make it, I would leave that cap at home, t-shirt in the closet and your cheering in check. Because, you see, I’m more then just one giant green ant eater, I’m 30,000+ fans on any giving night that’s watching your every move and waiting for that moment to arrive when WE get to stomp on your pride.

Sincerely,

Phillie Phanatic