Written communication — collaborate with kindness
Text messaging has rapidly become the go-to communication method, integrated into nearly every platform we use daily. As a result, written communication has become the dominant form of business. Have you ever wondered about the true meaning behind a message or email, leaving you questioning the sender’s intent? You’re not alone, and it’s a common occurrence. Sometimes, our written words don’t convey our intended tone or context accurately.
Is this a modern communication challenge of our century? Should we adapt and learn to communicate differently? Imagine speaking the same message face-to-face, and you’ll likely notice a significant difference in tone and context compared to the written form.
Let’s take a look at the studies and think about it for a moment
58% of communication is done through body language
35% is through vocal tone, pitch, and emphasis
Only 7% is through the content of messages
You can find more information about Albert Mehrabian’s 7–38–55 Communication model on Google. :)
Surprising, right?
As you think deeper — communication by text is kind of difficult and there are several challenges:
No context
It’s harder to put ourselves in other people’s shoes when we can’t see those shoes. You don’t really know what situation the person you’re writing to is in right now. Maybe they are on their way to pick up their kids from kindergarten, or maybe they are really upset right now. All of this could influence the answer you can get from them.
No emotional cues
We often rely on facial expressions and tone of voice to pick up on emotional cues. So when you write a message via text only— you have assentially 0 emotions there. Even if you try to be nice, it could be read in as rude.
Lack of body language
Folded arms indicate resistance, raised eyebrows signal disbelief or discomfort, and fidgeting denotes anxiety. Smiling usually conveys happiness, humor, and friendliness. By text you can’t see if a person is confused, finds someting funny or think you were harsh.
Easier to argue
It’s easier to confront someone whose face you can’t see. Try it for yourself — tell someone the same emotional thing face to face as you did in writing. I’m sure you will be much much more quiet in your emotions than infront of the same person live.
Language style differences
Let’s agree that different generations use their own digital language. While the young generation uses slang and less words to communicate, the older generations used completely different styles of communication to convey the same meaning.
Communication time-delays
If you don’t answer back as quickly as the sender expects, they begin to wonder why you’re not responding — Maybe you are ignoring them? Maybe you are busy right now? Maybe you forgot your phone or something happened to you? I’ll be honest with you — maybe you are right and the person is ignoring you :D
So how can we improve our writing without hurting anyone?
Let’s take several platforms you are using in your daily life for communication and drill down into each one.
Slack/Whatsapp (other messengers)
How often have you felt like Lois Griffin when Stewie called her: “Loissss, mom, mom, mommy, momma, momma, ma, ma!” and you are like “WHAT?!”
It’s disturbing to get 1000 messages word/sentence by word/sentence… Made all the more difficult when you have like 10000 things to do and need to focus.
Here comes the #NOHELLO concept. (The “nohello” concept advocates skipping the traditional “hello” or greeting in digital communication to save time and get straight to the main point of the conversation.)
At first, I thought it was kind of rude; I thought I was supposed to be polite and ask how someone was before jumping into my needs. You know, make small talk before I get to the main reason I wrote them. Sound familiar?
So that could be super disturbing… In the end, we can make a compromise and write in one message an introduction with our interest in the person and their life and immediately ask what we need from them. It will completely shorten the time spent for both of you and the same way be polite — a win-win situation.
To make your message more “human” than a random robot message — you can use emojis, bulleted lists, and bold and italic text styling to make your titles and key points stand out, especially in longer messages.
Also, you can use the power of punctuation.
Let’s take the “A woman without her man is nothing.” (Lynne Truss, 2009, p.9) sentence as an example.
You can read it like this: “A woman, without her man, is nothing.”
But also like “A woman: without her, man is nothing”. Makes a difference, yes? So the same sentence we probably have written in 2 different ways. Imagine while you message anyone, how they can interpret your writing when you are not using any punctuation? Punctuation was meant to make the text more colorful and with the feel of humanity. Why not use it?
Code review (Tech Design/Project management platform or any other review platforms) — special tip for tech industry workers
During code review, I often think to myself — why are they attacking me? Or why are they so condescending? Or why are they blaming me for the way I wrote my point of view? The truth is though, you’ve probably written in a similar style and didn’t intend for it to sound like that.
Let’s look at some examples of how to be more polite in your comments to your peers.
Never aim directly in your feedback
You should rename this variable to something more descriptive.
Feels too much like blaming, no? Let’s make it much better this way:
Can we rename this variable to something more descriptive, like seconds_remaining?
And if you don’t like to use “we”, use instead of — question version:
What about renaming this variable to something more descriptive, like seconds_remaining?
Frame feedback as requests, not commands
Command: Move the Foo class to a separate file.
Instead of this — let’s write it:
Request: Can we move the Foo class to a separate file?
Be generous with code examples/examples in general
Can we simplify this with a list comprehension?
It would be very helpful if you wrote it with examples. You are already familiar with this way of coding, and maybe the person you are writing to is too junior and it will take a lot of their time to find the right way you meant it to be.
Consider simplifying with a list comprehension like this:
Be humble
Remember — you also may be wrong.
It’s fine to say: Everything is good!
If you don’t see anything wrong — you are not supposed to forcefully look for defects.
And of course — Don’t forget to praise
It will help people to feel good about their work and it could also create a good example to give feedback and also complement others.
A picture is worth a thousand words
Most of you who have written a technical design document wanted to make it easier and more understandable for everyone. Make it perfect. With a state of mind that no one is as familiar with this area as you are during your research. And how many times have you tangled yourself in a mess of never-ending text? People are more likely to understand graphics and pictures more easily than concentrating their attention on heavy text, even if it was written perfectly.
Writing isn’t easy, but in today’s tech-driven world, we use it more than ever, especially at work. I hope I’ve shown you the importance of good writing for communication. Now, it’s up to you to use it wisely. :)
Here are some practical tips for you to use:
- Try to be as available as you can
It doesn’t mean you are supposed to always have your hands on your phone/computer. But try to answer as soon as you can and don’t make people feel you are ignoring them. - Use straightforward language
Write your message clearly and in a way that can be widely understood. Don’t try to imply. - Proofread your message
From time to time, after a couple of rounds of proofreading, you might be able to see how some messages could have double meanings or be considered too rude. Also, it could be helpful to ask someone else to check your writing. - Be aware of punctuation
- Use Grammarly (another spelling program) for clear and accurate messaging
- Use emojis (wisely)
It makes your messages more human, just like the tone of your voice or body language does in face-to-face interactions. - If it’s urgent — call
Sometimes writing can take too much time, and people are not always available to answer at the same time. And if it is urgent and can’t wait — just pick up the phone. - Don’t panic
In moments when confronted with a stressful message that might tempt us to respond impulsively, it is wise to take a gentle pause, allowing ourselves to breathe and find inner calm. Instead of reacting immediately, we can respond thoughtfully, perhaps even waiting until the next day when clarity and mindfulness guide our actions. By doing so, we honor our emotions and ensure that our words carry the grace of poise and understanding. - Be friendly and polite
And of course, remember to be the person you wanted to get a message from. Be as polite as you wish others to be to you.
