These Women Burnt Themselves Alive, and People Cheered Them On
Millions of widows burned themselves alive in the name of honor. But did they have a choice?
Dressed in gold from head to toe, she walked towards her death.
She was one of the million women in India to have taken her life publicly, as the crowd cheered her on.
Her husband, a warrior in 16th century India, was her whole life; she loved him with all her heart, but was she ready to die with him?
Her husband was one of the many casualties of war. He was a loving husband and all she could ask for in a world where women were men’s property.
But now he was dead, and before she could recover from the grief, she had a decision to make.
Would she kill herself along with him? Was she ready to sit with him on his funeral pyre and burn herself alive?
Was she ready to be Sati?
She was just 25 years of age and had a long life ahead of her. But with her husband dead, her options were limited. She looked around her room. It was spacious and comfortable. A trunk was sitting in the corner of the room, holding all her gold ornaments.
The ones she might have to wear to the funeral pyre if she planned on burning herself.
She looked at the mosaic flooring, her thoughts returning to the fresh memories of sitting on that floor with her husband. She loved him the most in the world.
But was killing herself the only way to prove her love for her husband?
Widow Burning
Sati was a practice dating as far back as the fourth century, in which a widow threw herself on her husband’s funeral pyre and burnt herself alive along with her husband. It was originally a voluntary practice that women could opt out of, later becoming a forced one due to the numerous monetary benefits of the practice.
As women inherited their dead husband’s property, killing them was one of the best ways for the relatives to get hold of that property.
So with loosely quoted scriptures, where the practice had strictly been voluntary, it soon became forced.
In the name of pride and honor, women were killed, and the reasons were never actually religious, but very practical.
Women were their husband’s property, so if their caretaker died, they either had to become a prostitute or die.
And even if a widow’s family was willing to support her life, she was required to atone for the husband’s death her whole life, which meant wearing only white clothes, becoming untouchable, sleeping on the floor, and eating bland food; for the rest of her life.
All these rules made the decision easier for a young widow. Die, or live a life worse than death.
And so the practice continued.
Women who killed themselves with their husbands were said to have attained heaven by following their husbands to the afterlife, whereas men could remarry as many times as they wished.
There were many ways of doing it, some less gruesome than others. The most original way of doing it was dressing in best clothing and sitting on the funeral pyre, with husband’s head in laps, as the pyre burned.
Some women were allowed the grace of ingesting opium or poison to kill the pain to their journey of death. Some slashed their wrists before sitting in the pyre.
To understand the holes in the scriptures that people quoted in defense of this gruesome practice, it is crucial to understand the original story of Goddess Sati.
Sati’s Dilemma
Sati was the wife of lord shiva; the destroyer of the universe. He is one of the most powerful gods in Hinduism, but his image is not the one you might be visualizing right now. He was ascetic living in the mountains in deep meditation, and spent most of his time in Samadhi (deep meditation).
He is also Purush, the male energy of the universe, who would forever be incomplete until he married Prakriti, the female energy of the universe.
Sati was the human incarnation of Prakriti and destined to marry Shiva. Not that she had to be forced, because after a series of encounters with the lord, she was hopelessly in love with him.
She loved him, admired him and worshiped him for everything he was and everything he helped her become. He led her to her original form, that of the female goddess of the universe. Sati knew that only with Shiva, she was complete.
Sati was a princess in her human form, and her father Daksh, was a king. He wanted her to marry a prince from the neighboring kingdom, to strengthen his rule. Not to mention that he considered Shiva an outcast and hated him for his carefree mountain lifestyle.
So when her father didn’t allow her marriage to Shiva, she convinced him until he said yes (in classic Indian fashion).
And that was how she married the love of her life. Life was great for a while until something disastrous happened.
Daksh had organized a mighty Yagna (a sacrificial ceremony). Her extended family, gods, demigods and even villagers were invited to the sacrifice, but Sati was not, as was Shiva.
Sati asked Shiva to come with her anyway, Daksh was her father after all, and even if he forgot to invite her, it didn’t mean she couldn’t go. She knew he’d love to see her.
Shiva, in a calm but firm tone told her that if Daksh had not invited them, they wouldn’t be welcome there, even if they did go. And with that simple answer, he refused to go.
After trying to convince Shiva for some time, she lost her patience and decided to go alone. He looked at her with a hopeless plea as he watched her leave their abode. He knew she would not be coming back from that trip.
The Yagna
Sati was overwhelmed with memories and happiness as she entered her father’s palace, expecting a warm welcome. But from people’s expressions, she soon realized that Shiva was right. She was not supposed to be there and was not welcome. But it was too late. She was there now.
She asked her mother what was wrong; why was her father looking at her like she was a traitor?
But before she could respond, Daksh’s voice boomed across the palace, “I am Prajapati, the lord of the people, and you who married a mere mountain lurker, are not welcome here. That cremation ground dweller, an atheist with no place in society, has no place in my heart, just like you, who married him against my wishes. You are not my daughter anymore, but that Kapali’s (one who wears a necklace of skulls) wife.”
Sati was shocked. She pleaded with him to stop uttering such words, for it was a sin to insult a god in such a manner. But Daksh continued to throw every curse he knew at Shiva. As she heard the insults for her lord, Sati realized her folly of not understanding what Shiva meant.
Now her father won’t stop, and she had a decision to make.
She knew that she was Shakti (female goddess) in her innate form, but in her human form, she had many attributes that made it impossible for her to actually be a goddess, a wife fit to be with Shiva. If only she had foresight, she would have understood what he meant. She would have been more focused on attaining her actual form of Shakti, but she was never patient in her behavior or meditation.
And when she looked at her now growling father, she knew exactly where she got the impatience. She knew it would take her a lifetime to rid herself of these inherited attributes and yet she might never be the goddess she was supposed to be. She’d never be perfect as long as Daksh was a part of her.
She knew what she had to do. She had to be born again to a better father. She had to be reborn to rid herself of Daksh and everything he had given her. She had to do it all over again; but it didn’t matter. She was doing this for herself.
She knew Shiva would be devastated for decades; but this was the only way. She could never attain her true form as long as she remained Daksha’s daughter.
And so she did the unthinkable. She folded her hands, closed her eyes, and started meditating, at the center of the sacrificial hall.
No, she never threw herself into the sacrificial flames (as the rumors told). She was a goddess and couldn’t kill herself in that way.
After an hour of intense meditation, flames started licking her skin. They appeared out of nowhere, almost like magic. But she knew better. She had set herself on fire using her own Yogic energy. It was one of the many tantra tactics she had learned from Shiva but never imagined using like this.
And that’s how she died. Her father was never remorseful of what he compelled his daughter to do, and Shiva was beyond devastated.
Everyone else at the gathering was shaken, while some tried to stop Sati, who was on a path of no return.
Conclusion
As you might have noticed, the story was never about a widow killing herself for her husband, but a woman wanting to reclaim her freedom and identity.
She did it for herself, not for her husband. She did it by herself, not because others had forced her to. It was not a matter of pride, but her sense of being. She could have chosen to return to her husband, and he could have accepted her with open arms.
But such deep messages are often buried under the blazing tales as people use them to fulfill their selfish motives.
It’s believed that Sati was later reborn as Parvati, the daughter of the king of Himalayas. Attaining her actual form of Shakti, she married Shiva, and lived happily ever after.
Parvati also met Daksh to forgive him for his misdeeds, but that is a story for another day.
