Wabenzi
The tribe nobody would miss
The news of the imminent extinction of a tiny little African tribe would make headlines in Western newspapers. Anthropologists would come out and point out the fact that another part of human diversity is about to be lost forever. But in the case of the Wabenzi, none of this will happen. Quite the opposite: it would mean that things are actually changing for the better… But let’s start for the beginning.
Where did the Wabenzi come from? It all started in Africa, and just as the Watusi are the people (wa) from Tus, Wabenzi are those (wa) who drive Benz (Mercedes Benz, to be precise). It didn’t happen overnight, but they slowly made their way across the whole African continent, from Algeria to Zimbabwe, seizing the power to never let it go.
It all happened as the old African colonies started to part ways with the metropolis, giving way to a puzzle of new independent countries, lead by native governments. In many cases, these new rulers didn’t undo the old colonial structures but took advantage of them, making a select few very rich at the expense of the majority. This new aristocracy needed a way to show their new status, and what better way to make an statement that with the car you drive, or to be precise, the one you are driven in.
Here is where the German automaker comes to play. There is many luxury car makers out there with a reputation of producing some of the most exquisite automobiles. Some names come to mind: Jaguar, Bentley, and specially Rolls-Royce. Even more, Mercedes Benz wasn’t really playing in this league until 1963, when they came up with the 600 Pullman, the first love of Wabenzis, and a favorite among dictators all over the world: Nicolae Ceauceșcu had one, Josip Tito had one, Fidel Castro had one, Kim Jong Il had one… The list goes on and on, and it contains a big number of African leaders for a very simple reason: while the reputation of Rolls-Royce or Bentley was tarnished by the recently abolished British colonialism, the German maker wasn’t.
As we were saying, the list of African leaders in the list of owners of the 600 was a long one. And being driven in a Benz is a tradition that continues to this day. Like any other tribe, we can also identify some of its leaders and pioneers. Probably one of the biggest exponents of the Wabenzi’s way is the Zimbabwean president Robert Mugabe, proud owner of an armored S600L with a price tag over half a million euros. Other proud members of this tribe were Mobutu Sese Seko, president of Zaire; Idi Amin, president of Uganda; or sergeant Samuel Doe in Liberia. Another glaring example: “emperor” Jean-Bedel Bokassa, ruler of Central African Republic received for his coronation, back in 1977, a train loaded with 80 Mercs.
And it’s not just their taste for a particular car brand what all this men have in common, far from it. In most cases, they are well educated people, who received an elitist education abroad; who wear expensive Italian tailor made suits, and spend most of their time in nice air-conditioned offices in the center of the capital. They would only leave their habitat for one reason: vote hunting. That’s another of their main characteristics: they aren’t successful businessmen, spending their own money. Quite the opposite, the Wabenzi is basically an exclusive club comprising politicians and senior officials who spend public money in luxury cars (among other things).
If we had to find an explanation for all this waste, we could perhaps point out some African traditions. Being driven, specially in a Mercedes car, is just a demonstration of the Wabenzi’s status, the same way it’s common to get together friends and acknowledgements for huge feasts. This might explain another common trait of the Wabenzi: obesity.
Another well known stamp across the African continent that has our Wabenzi friends are the Benz caravans. Every time a Wabenzi has to travel, he doesn’t do it alone. Before them, lines of motorized police blasting their sirens leads the way of the Wabenzi, driven in their black Mercs, the sunlight reflected on the three pointed star that crowns the front of their German cars. To end the procession, a big number of pick-up tracks loaded with armed soldiers who take care that everything is under control.
Even with all the protection they can muster, and as with any dominant tribe, there has been those who raised against them. One of the best exponents of this opposition was Thomas Sankara, who after raising to power in Upper Volta after a military coup d’etat, installed a similar regime to that of Castro’s Cuba, the reason why he is often referred to as Africa’s Che Guevara. To differentiate himself from previous rulers of the country, one of this first measures was getting rid of the collection of Mercedes Benz his predecessors had put together. From that moment on, the official car of ministers and high officials would be the humble Renault 5, the cheapest car you could buy in the Upper Volta at the time. As you would imagine, Sankara rule didn’t last long: after four years of friction with the tribal leaders, and under the pressure of the old metropolis, he was deposed and killed in 1987, being replaced by yet another Wabenzi, Blaise Compaoré, who ruled the country since then until 2011.
In the end, what hunger or military uprising couldn’t do (that is, getting rid of the Wabenzi ways), the recession that hit the world a few years back might do. In the middle of the biggest crisis since 1929, several African governments had been implementing austerity measures that involved cuts on. For example, the crisis hit specially hard in Kenya, where stricter regulation were imposed on official cars: their engine had to be under 1800 c.c., which basically rules out all cars produced by the German maker. On the other hand, this measure contrasts with the wages paid to Kenyan senators (94 of them earned more that 9000 pounds a month, putting them among the best paid worldwide), or the expenditure of 3.5 million pounds on (guess what?) Mercedes Benz cars.
Only time will tell if this is just the beginning of the end for the Wabenzi. But I’m pretty sure that millions of people would be more than happy if this tribe disappears once and for all, myself included.
