How to avoid rent scams: Five quick tips.
The bullet had missed me by an inch. I was sprinting as fast as I could, away from the man who had tricked me; I had a broken arm after getting the beating of my life, and that didn’t help with my escape. I held it so it wouldn’t swing so aimlessly by my side. It hurt so bad but I kept going, letting out blood-curdling screams as I ran. I was approaching a collapsed building when a dog leapt at me from the bushes. He looked so adorable. I had to save him. I picked him up with my only good arm, keeping my head low as I ran. Soon, we were both hiding from the big burly man. That was when Smokey spoke — I had named him smokey because his fur was the colour of ash, “Not a serial killer who does rental scams! How did you get it so wrong again?” I must be dehydrated. Or did this dog just roll his eyes and smirk at me? I replied anyway, too tired to question my reality, “Are you victim blaming me? Rental scams are not that easy to spot!”
“I can show you how to spot a rental scam, but I don’t see you wearing your glasses. Must have been why you missed it,” Another smirk, this time with an insult to rub it in. I really shouldn’t have picked him up.
“It is not easy to spot rental scams, big dawg. What would you have done differently if it were you?” I yelled at him. Was I losing my mind or was smokey now hold lighting a cigar and staring out the window like an actual kingpin? “It is flattering when you call me big dawg, but I guess it is just who I am after all. Well, you saved me Maya, so I’ll share my five quick tips on how to avoid rental scams. ”
“Tip number one, use a property management company. If I remember clearly Maya, you know one called HIYALO, they have a publication which you can follow to get updates by clicking on this link and you can just join their waitlist. It is shocking you let yourself get into this mess when Hiyalo has you covered.”
I could hear laughter in the background, almost like he had added a sound effect to drive home his point.
“Tip number two, if there is a lot of pressure to get the deal over with, then it is the wrong deal. He was so loud and fast, never taking them to explain things, Maya. You are the human here. I thought you were smarter. What are rental scams? If not, a dude telling you to hurriedly get the house off his hands before someone else does.”
“Tip number three, never pay for an apartment you have not seen. Just pictures of him standing in an empty room? Really? Maya, how can you avoid rental scams if you do not even go check the place yourself? Last I checked, HIYALO will provide an in-person tour and take you to the location. Yes, I am rubbing it in because all you had to do was join the waitlist and follow the publication. “
“Tip number four, if it is too good to be true, then it probably is. This does not mean there are no affordable places to live, which of course HIYALO has made a primary goal of showing to you. However, unless you are a thief, what was that price? I might be a dog. But even I wouldn’t take the bait if it was shaped like a bone. That was reaching too far. How to avoid rental scams is not to be baited by greed.“
“Tip number five, how to tell if a rental is legitimate, is to make sure that whatever written lease they gave you has the name of the owner. Just look at the receipt you are holding”
Suddenly, the fake house receipt was in my hand, and the name on it read John Doe. Really? I was this stupid to be conned by a man named John Doe? The dog was right. The signs were all there, these five tips shared on how to avoid rental scams pointed them so easily.
I could hear footsteps now. He was in the building, and the con man found me. Smokey suddenly tapped me and said, “I think this is where I excuse myself. Your death, not mine.” Two fingers in the air and he disappeared into thin air. “Blood of Jesus!” I screamed. My eyes fluttered open. All of my friends were standing over my head, looking at me. I had slept off at a house party. That would explain the smell of smoke and the endless laughter I had heard in the background.
Another weird dream, much like the one I had had in Big Brother's house. Pretty brilliant advice, I had gotten from smokey back there. “I need a book and pen, please”. I said, wanting to write all five tips down before I forgot them. “Is it Betnaija code? I’m interested o!”, someone said. Everyone burst out laughing—just another situation in Lagos, where I’m the joke.
