Corpse Protests Seizure By Mortuary Workers Over Family’s Outstanding Debt
By Volcanic Lightning, TEMA
The Tema Community 9 Cemetery was a spectacle last week Saturday when a corpse temporarily came to life and protested against its seizure by two mortuary workers over its family’s failure to pay GH₵ 150 in outstanding mortuary fees.
At the time of the incident, the corpse was being laid to rest when the two mortuary men stormed the cemetery and disrupted the burial proceedings. To the stupefaction of everyone gathered — both the bereaved family and sympathizers alike — the mortuary workers yanked the dead body out of its coffin and hoisted it onto their shoulders.
They were marching off with it when the corpse reanimated and demanded to know why they were disrespecting it in such a foul and disgraceful manner.
The workers then narrated to the corpse how its family had refused to pay undertaking fees of GH₵ 150 after the undertaker painstakingly dressed and prepared it for burial. The men added that rather than the deceased’s family attempt to negotiate some sort of arrangement to settle the charges, they chose instead to abscond with it and surreptitiously bury it to avoid payment.
The embarrassed corpse turned to stare at its family and shook its head, evidently unsurprised by their shameful stunt. It retrieved a fat wallet from its coat pocket and counted the owed amount which it handed to the two mortuary workers. They in turn thanked the corpse and wished it R.I.P. before leaving the cemetery.
The corpse then gave a justified dressing-down to its family members who hung their heads in shame. It threatened to haunt whichever one of them dared to tamper with the still fat wallet from its pocket into an early grave right beside it.
The corpse ignored its family’s feeble apologies and climbed back into its coffin where it lay stiff and went back to being dead. With their deceased’s threat still ringing in their ears, the family members buried it with its juicy fat wallet intact, a decision they wept over bitterly.
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