Credit: Pixabay

Judge Loses Temper And Storms Out Of Court

By Bismuth Crystal, ACCRA

During a trial at the Accra Circuit Court on Wednesday, a judge lost his temper and yelled at the plaintiff before storming off in a fit.

His Honour Noah Atiku-Blay had been presiding over a litigation case involving a woman suing the government for the country’s bad roads which allegedly tore her sandals for the umpteenth time while she was walking home from work.

The usually mild-mannered justice listened with rising irritation as the complainant lamented over how she’d been forced to complete her journey barefoot, and had in the process sustained severe foot injuries for which she held the government responsible.

Although His Honour had earlier presided over a similar case where a woman sued the bird that pooped on her, this particular case sent him over the edge. When the complainant mentioned that she was suing the government for GH₵ 7000000000000000000, the judge completely lost it and banged his gavel thrice.

“Enough!” he bellowed, smoke pouring out of his ears and nostrils. “Why do you women like money so much? Is that all you know in this life? You babble on about feminism this, women empowerment that, but you’re not interested in labouring to earn money to acquire the things you want! Why? If I have to listen to one more greedy vulture of a woman today, I swear I will chop my balls off!”

He then rose and stormed out of the courtroom, leaving the shocked court with their jaws on the floor.

A source close to the judge divulged that the justice had been dealing with severe marital stress, hence his meltdown. Apparently, his wife had taken to sleeping in the guestroom since Valentine’s Day after he’d been unable to meet her outrageous demands for a platinum-covered cellphone and a bottle of the DKNY Golden Delicious Perfume, a fragrance valued at a whopping $1 million dollars.

When the ex-president heard the reason for the judge’s meltdown, he commended the justice for not doing something worse, like strangling his wayward wife — a crime he would have wholeheartedly pardoned him for had he still been in office.

Hoax Headlines — 5% fact. 5% truth. 90% fiction.