A CHRISTMAS PRINCE: THE ROYAL WEDDING
🌰🌰
It’s nearly a year since lady blogger Amber and King Richard fell in love, and he proposed outside her dad’s diner. He said she wouldn’t have to give up anything, and they’ve been globetrotting and doing selfies poolside ever since. #RoyalLife
Now it’s time for something really royal: their wedding (on CHRISTMAS!). Amber and her dad jet off to Aldovia, and I miss Pop from the first PRINCE. This one has the bada bing turned up to 11. Some jerk steals their cab, and Pop is ready to throw down, but Amber’s royalty now, so they get a fleet of limos instead. And a personal attaché.
Back at the castle it’s your usual awkward meet-the-in-laws, and Pop stays just this side of Andrew Dice Clay. The Queen’s Botox and facial fills are on point so we can’t tell how unpleasant she finds Pop.
Richard is 24/7 business business business and is always getting called into meetings. Aldovia’s economy is in the toilet, and Richard can’t figure out why. All his revitalization projects were supposed to work! I smell embezzlement. Amber says she balanced the diner’s books so she can totally help, but he’ll have none of it. She’s got more important jobs: deal with all the wedding stuff and pick out a Christmas tree 🙄.
The cab-stealer is Sahil, the wedding designer. He only talks about himself in the third person and humble brags about all the weddings he’s designed for richie riches. I can’t decide if he’s a villain. When he puts Amber in a corpse bride wedding dress and veil, I realize he’s my hero.
Amber thinks she can be a lady blogger and a queen, but Mrs. Stuffypants quickly relieves her of that delusion. The #RoyalLife she’s been living was just the brochure, now it’s reality, and that means protocol and perfection. The royals have an image to protect. No personal jewelry, no inflatable Christmas decorations, no fun.
Sniveling Simon is back! Sophia fleeced him in the divorce, and he appeals to Richard to let him back in the fold (we’re family after all!). He’s pathetic at first but quickly regains his swagger. I’m waiting for him to backstab them the whole movie. It’s exciting.
Pop and the royal chef have a will-they-won’t-they thing, and I hate every minute of it. Pop wasn’t this amped up in the first movie. It’s unsettling.
Richard’s confusion about the economy is funny. He and Queen Mum are relieved to learn dad’s trusty advisor, Lord Leopold, is coming back to bail them out. He oozes Mr. Monopoly confidence.
Princess Emily stars in the Christmas pageant (who else would they cast #privilege), but the unions shutter the production. Amber gets her attaché to move the whole thing to the palace, and Emily gets her stage debut and first kiss with costar shy Tom Quill. And everyone decorates cookies afterwards.
Amber’s New York besties arrive for the wedding, and instead of a bachelorette party, she wants them to Scooby-Doo what’s going on with the economy. They’re super bummed, but at least they go to a pub. The paparazzi find them, and they’ve got to escape… Simon to the rescue! They pile into his beater car, and it’s back to the palace to have Emily hack the Hall of Records database. Simon knows lots about shady business dealings. He and Melissa get flirty.
The characters, if possible, are more cartoonish in this sequel, which was fun but not fun enough to give more than 🌰🌰. The royal baby is next up in the PRINCE series. My Christmas wishes for that one: another mystery to solve, lots more sniveling Simon, and please leave Pop in New York 🤞.
Watch while sniffing out government corruption.
