How To Get What You Really Want — Accepting Responsibility
The greatest turning point in life.
Read this quote with your full attention and really take it in:
“Among the most important personal choices you can make is to accept complete responsibility for everything you are and everything you will ever be. This is the great turning point in life. The acceptance of personal responsibility is what separates the superior person from the average person. Personal responsibility is the preeminent trait of leadership and the wellspring of high performance in every person in every situation.
Accepting complete responsibility for your life means that you refuse to make excuses or blame others for anything in your life that you’re not happy about. You refuse, from this moment forward, to criticize others for any reason. You refuse to complain about your situation or about what has happened in the past. You eliminate all your if-onlys and what-ifs and focus instead on what you really want and where you are going.” ~ Brian Tracy, author of Focal Point
I couldn’t have said it any better myself. That was a quote straight from the book Focal Point by Brian Tracy.
Here’s my own personal story about responsibility:
For as far back as I could remember, I had been blaming others for my own problems. Not happy with a school assignment? The teacher’s fault. Not happy at work? My boss’s fault. Not feeling loved? My significant other’s fault. It had always been so easy to point my finger at the outer stuff, that I completely ignored my own inner stuff.
I was a victim to everything happening around me. I was a puppet on a string, letting others pull me in any direction they chose, even if they didn’t realize they were in control of me and my feelings.
The worst was when I found myself in a relationship with a person who really was controlling. Even though I was blaming others for my own personal feelings, I also hated being told what to do. I was living in a confusing world of manipulation and blame. It was not fun.
The moment my life really changed was when I heard, in a gentle way, that I needed to take control of my life. I needed to take responsibility for all of it. The relationship I was in? I put myself there. The job I hated? I applied for it with enthusiasm less than a year ago. The depression I felt? I alone had the power to turn it around. That was not the responsibility of my doctor, my parents, my therapist, or my significant other. There were people who helped and harmed, sure, but it was also my responsibility to put myself around people who were supportive.
Now at first it stung a little bit when I realized that I had been playing “the puppet game” for practically my whole life. Some might think that would be depressing all on it’s own. You mean I created this? C’mon!
Not so! Instead, I felt a weight lift off of my shoulders. This was great news! If I am in control, that means that I AM IN CONTROL. I could make my life anything I wanted it to be. No matter what happens, I could always choose which path to take. From that moment forward, it was all up to me.
Many things have changed in my life since that pivotal paradigm shift. I’ve started doing what I love. I started looking for ways to love myself more and care what other people thought about me less. I have found people that care about me instead of people that are using me to fulfill their personal accomplishments. I teach this lesson to my daughter, every day, because I want her to know that she is in control of her life, and that the people and situations around her are only part of a complex story.
I started following this rule (although I’ll admit I have to catch myself still, over and over again):
Don’t complain about something if you can do something about it.
Like I said, sometimes I catch myself after the words have left my lips! Did I just complain about being cold again?! Well I could go put on a sweater, stand next to the heater, or run in place. So many options! Complaining about my job? I could take that energy and put it into what it is that I love to do, which is to write blogs for people who want some uplift in their life. Complaining that my current boyfriend hasn’t done anything nice for me lately? I could go do something nice for him OR I could go immerse myself in something that brings me joy.
Take responsibility for everything in your life. The power you will feel is indescribable.
Like Brain Tracy said, it is the great turning point in life. Some people learn it young, some people never learn it at all. I personally think that it determines happiness in an individual times a million. Responsibility of your feelings, your actions, and your life spells F-R-E-E-D-O-M.
Andrea Holt is a holistic health coach specializing in natural alternatives to antidepressants by focusing on nutrition, positive psychology and other lifestyle changes. Follow on the blog at www.happybrainmovement.com or on the Facebook at www.facebook.com/happybrainmovement/
