Who am I and How I Got Here?

This game is not easy, yet, it is rewarding to find a win in it.

The game of life is complex, non linear and beautiful.

It is nothing like the American game anymore.

The society has r(evolved) in this century,
our idea of normal changed,
our lives have been globalized.

Before in the game of life,
the goal was to establish a life of external satisfactions.
Now it’s about something else.

Materialistic or not, “the goals” were not related to the internal health and wealth of the person, they were more like “oh, if you buy this house you will be happy ever after!”. Or maybe marry that person, sure it will suck, but sometimes that’s just life, right?

I’m a living proof that it has changed, life isn’t just linear anymore — Maybe it never was, but who knows — And thanks to my consciousness and my habits, I was able to escape that vortex of society.

Right now I’m experiencing some of the most amazing times to be alive, and with all the knowledge available, I continue to polish myself in a daily basis.

Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor.

But who am I?
Boy oh boy, this question is deep.

I’m a regular guy that is awaken and aware of my surroundings, experiencing how my actions define my results. I live in constant search for improvement on every aspect of my life, and I’m getting results.

I am the constant change and the constant search. I am whole and sometimes also void. Been balancing the chaos and the cosmos to observe a neutrality in my thoughts.

When we ask someone the above question, the answer often comes with an occupation. My occupation used to be a student. For the last 4 years I was studying Engineering in one of the top 5 universities of Brazil. When I got in, I was tending to choose the path of aerospace engineering, it was the most exciting choice. Than, a little after, I considered electronic engineering, but my experiences were too hard on that.

After 2 years studying linear algebra, calculus, probability & statistics, I finally had chosen my area. Software engineering was my way to go. And since then, every aspect of my life aligned to me arriving at where I am right now. In this Sunday morning, writing this text.

I’ve worked in amazing places and with 20 years, my curriculum makes me a top candidate in most position I apply. But you know what? In my last job I worked at Medialab/UnB. An interdisciplinary research lab that encourages the unconventional mixing and matching of seemingly disparate research areas like design, arts, robotics, computer science, philosophy, and so on.

Over there I learned about Visual Arts, and what does it mean to have poetics in something. Making art using technology was so fulfilling that I couldn’t stand my life at university anymore. I needed to do something, to change. It just felt wrong to make myself go there everyday for the next 2 years of my life for a degree.

I was still going to classes, until one day. The break point.

The process was smooth, planned, but still chaotic. I’m still experiencing the residual effects of my choice. I’ve abandoned my graduation and do not regret of this choice.

I’m grateful for having the support of my parents, because after I explained my reasons, they understood, no questions asked — (maybe a few considerations).

To be the Light:

But the enlightening route was traced one year before. After normal fights, I was in a down of drinking and smoking habits. But yeah, it was totally normal for a 19yo teenager to vomit it’s gut out every single weekend. Right? — Maybe not.

In the day 11/11/16 something in my life changed, I think it was the first time I learned about the third eye…

We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possesses than to be praised for the fifteen we do possesses. — Mark Twain

Since then, I’ve gone from a mediocre future to an almost free present - (to be continued)… From living in the past to living in the now moment, and from a closed door of possibilities to a wide open passage of creativity.

I’m telling this story to prove my point that even when everything seems to be going right, things can always improve. Always there is something to be changed and the moment we stop getting better, we are getting worse.