The Lazy Tween
“Children are lazy as hell”
Recently I caught my daughter sulking on the couch
Me — What’s wrong with you?
Luna — I’m sooooooo bored
Me — Really?
Luna — Yeeeeessss
I turn around and gather up the broom, dustpan, mop, bucket, rags, windex and such
Me — (while gathering) I need you to start on the bathroom, baby
No answer
I turn around
She’s gone
Yeah….uh huh
Children are lazy as hell.
Like ignorantly lazy
They’ll let half a sandwich fall on the floor and wait for you to walk past and pick it up.
Yeah, you can guess it…the honeymoon is over and I’m dealing with a tween, not a cute little 5 year old in a tutu.
The tween has minimal chores but acting like I’m weighing her daily load of cotton on the plantation.
I know it’s my fault. I should have had her doing chores all this time but dammitt… it flew by so fast.
Just yesterday she was the delicious, little, big-cheeked baby in her stroller, begging me to go to the playground.
Now I have this young lady I have to GUIDE INTO ADULTHOOD.
It’s scary.
I don’t really feel grown myself.
Just like I’ve been here a long time.
My princess will actually tear up when I ask her to do something like “Clean the bathroom”.
Luna — The WHOLE bathroom??
Me — No just the sink…HELL YEAH the whole bathroom!
And as I show her how to scrub the sink, her arms go limp and suddenly its like she doesn’t know how to move her hands back and forth.
What. The. Hell???
It’s hard for me to understand this because at her age I had MAD CHORES.
Dishes, Pots and Pan, the dining room, the living-room, the laundry, the bathrooms, the back yard, feed the animals, rake leaves, clean the gutters, paint the fence, take out the garbage, find the damn dog that always ran away, clean up the neighbors garbage the damn dog ripped up
It was freaking endless.
We usually had one major chore a day like “clean the dishes, pots and pans” and the next day you’d move on to the bathrooms, but dammit I had chores!!!!
This is what I get for raising city kids in an apartment.
They have no concept of “elbow grease” and “putting in REAL time”.
I’m kind of kicking myself right now.
But honestly the truth is……every single time I master a parenting stage, theses suckers grow into the next phase and I’m at ground ZERO…AGAIN.
It never gets easier.
The little one? I got him, We were JUST THERE, but the Tween?…I have no idea what I’m doing.
I feel like old-school mom in a new-school world.
I actually had that moment where my daughter was hanging with her friends, she gave me some Back Talk and I let loose.
Me — Who in the world do you think YOU’RE talking to? Cause I know it ain’t me!
Luna — Mama my friends are right here
Me — I don’t give a damn WHAT your little friends think! Michelle Freaking Obama could be here and I’d give you the same response
SILENCE….MORTIFICATION…..Then Mama is known as Mean Mama.
………………..Oh well
It’s not fun but teenagers will not raise themselves.
It’s moments like this where I realize I might want to hit up a parenting blog…. or 9, to get my game together.
Cause I genuinely like my child, not just love her.
She’s mad cool.
But honey…. the back talk.
Oooh, the back talk makes me suck my teeth and take a deep breath.
Every time I hear back talk I wish there was a camp down south you could send your kids, to pick cotton for a summer.
I think it would come in very handy.
Forget Music Summer Camp, I would pay for THE PLANTATION.
……………….Truth is my kid is cool
But she’s a kid.
And we’re both just learning.
I’ll read some blogs.
She’ll clean her room.
And tomorrow is another day.
#HolliesBrain
#YesIAmThatMom
