The White Lady Con Job

“I guess they don’t think my Black skin is beautiful… Thank God I do.”

It was in the lobby.

The lobby of my Brooklyn building turns into an informal Swap Meet every other day because people just leave things there.

I saw stack of Japanese Elle magazines and snatched one up.

I was flipping through it in the elevator when I saw the ad staring me right in the face.

White Lady, whitening serum.

What the F**k?

White lady huh? They really weren’t farting around.

They didn’t even try to play that “lightens up dark spots!” line.

They went full gusto.

They went Full On White Lady.

I have White Lady friends but I’m not really trying to be a white lady. I like being a Black lady. I’ve perfected being a Black Lady for some time now.

But this…..this made me think…how desperate are some Japanese women for lighter skin?

Growing up Black but also light skinned gave me a unique perspective on color and colorism.

To white kids I was just Black. To some backwards thinking Black people, my complexion was prized.

When I was 16, a friend of a cousin screamed at me on the beach “Why you OUT HERE??! You don’t wanna get no BLACKER!!!”

The way he said “BLACKER” had all the disdain of rickets and gout with a herpes sore on top.

He was dark skinned. He actually thought he was trying to save me…from Blackness.

My family comes in all shades so I was used to everything from the Light Brights to Dark Chocolate.

Not to brag but I come from a pretty good looking family, so darkness was never equated with ugliness. I just saw “Good Looking” across the family tree.

This same friend of a cousin actually told me I was pretty…for a Black girl… but I would NEVER be white.

And I clearly remember wondering for the first time “AM I pretty?”

That’s how it works on you. Everyone around you can tell you how pretty you are but a few people that mirror a larger cultural train of thought (Colorism) can question your belief.

I know scores and scores of fine ass black women from 90 years old on down and I wonder how many sisters saw these ads……Were influenced by these ads.

I wonder how many of them questioned themselves like I did, asking “AM I pretty?”

The two ads on the ends are older but I swear if I caught that Nivea ad in the center I would have cussed out Nivea on Twitter THAT DAY.

We all know when they say “Fairer” they mean “Whiter”. Terms like “Bright” and “fair” are easier to push out than “Lighten”…or worse “Whiten”.

Like I said, they ain’t playing around when they say ‘Whiten”. I guess they don’t think my Black ass is beautiful…. Thank God I do.

Let’s go back…..

I wonder who’s grandma caught this ad?

Who bore witness to this White Lady Con Job?

That’s what I call it.

The White Lady Con Job where they have WOC believing if they were just lighter …just closer to looking like a White Lady… they would be beautiful.

“And here’s a cream for $Whatever.99 that can get your poor, unfortunate, unappealing dark skin there!”

One day, back in the 90’s, I was reading a Movieline Magazine article about the 30 Most Beautiful Actresses in Hollywood.

They got to Gwyneth Paltrow.

Their proof was that she was tall, skinny, blond-haired and fair.

Now…I happen to think ole Gwyneth IS good looking but saying she’s tall, skinny, blond-haired and fair is merely describing a Nordic woman.

But OK…I get it.

Nordic IS beautiful huh?

And Beautiful is Nordic.

Like these ladies below recognize?

Hell they even got the men in on it.

Like the White Lady, Whitening Serum, they didn’t play around.

“Whitening Cream”…it reads. And the product is called “Fair and Handsome”.

If you look center and down you’ll see it says “Face life with confidence!”

Because how could you ever be confident….and brown?

My Beautiful daughter is Black. Browner than me with the most insanely rich cocoa skin you’d ever imagine.

One day 3 months after she was born I took her to see some friends I hadn’t seen in years. They Oooh’d and Ahh’d and one girl said “She’s dark but she’s pretty”

I stopped cold.

Me — What did you say?

Her face went black. She knew what she said.

One Girl — I said she’s dark and she’s pretty

Me — That’s not what you said. You said “But”

It was quiet. She shrugged and looked around waiting for the moment to pass.

I felt differently about her after that. And we are no longer “hang out” friends. It wasn’t a big “f**k you” or anything. Life took us in other directions and I just “forgot” to call her.

And then “forgot” to call again. And then again and again until it was painfully obvious to both of us I was never gonna call her.

I know it was just a slip of the tongue… but I can’t.

My daughter was now a part of the world. Another Black girl in a world that doesn’t honor or prize her skin.

Every day, against the MAGA Maggot machine and the state of White Supremacy we live in, I have to affirm her worth and beauty.

I can’t have anyone around her that uttering anything against her worth. I can’t ever have her think America used to be Great.

America Was Never Great.

And “tall, skinny, blond-haired and fair” is not synonymous with Beautiful.

And a White Lady is just a White Lady, nothing more, nothing less.

That song they sing is just a ploy.

A game they run on you like 3 Card Monty.

The Oldest of Con Jobs.

#TheSystem

#YesIAMThatMom