You Can Kiss My Ass
“I TOLD you I was done”
You can kiss my Huggies Ass.
Seriously. I TOLD you I was done.
Remember when we were in the bodega on the way over here and I grabbed all those stupid, grown up protein bars at my eye level, that I don’t even want, but wouldn’t let go of?
Yeah THEN sis…I was done.
You didn’t see it. You Said “Oh Bud honey, don’t be like that ” and you kissed me.
I fell for that crap cause Mama Kisses DO EASE THE SOUL but dammitt I’m tired. We missed my nap and when I tried to get a wink on the subway, the SHOWTIME woke me up!
AND you gave those fools 3 dollars.!!
They weren’t that good. I’m 18 months old now, I’ve seen better. That little dude couldn’t even catch his hat with his head like the other guys do. But you gave him 3 dollars.
What is WRONG with you Mama?
Now I’m up in this Children’s Museum and you tell me I CAN’T have someone else snacks. That little girl won’t even MISS these Annie’s Cheddar Bunnies. But you gotta grab them out my hand….I see you.
Woman don’t you know I’m TIRED and these damn bunny snacks are all I have to live for?
I also missed Bubble Guppies this morning and you KNOW IT.
Bubble Guppies is my jam and my bib is irritating my neck. Why must you leave my bib on ALL DAY? Why don’t you just text everyone “Razi gotta drooling problem”…and my drool isn’t even that serious.
These bibs suck dirt, like you right now, and I love you but you I’ma need a moment on this floor, so everybody just WALK AROUND the spectacle cause I ain’t moving.
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I also wanna address why my clothes don’t match.
I saw baby pictures of my big sister and her wardrobe was ICE COLD. She had sets. She had ensembles. She MATCHED.
This is some second child BS. I know she is the heir but I am NOT the spare. Fix this STAT or I will embarrass you at another public event.
No one can blow out a diaper like me. ……Daddy won’t even change me if I get a hold of the hot sauce.
He’ll just watch me run past him, stifle a vomit and play dumb when you pick me up and scream for Jesus.
That one time at that Christmas party we had to leave early was a doozy. I was actually impressed with myself. That was like 9 baby wipes and afterwards you scrubbed your hands like you were taking out a heart.
But right now…Right now I’m pissed.
I missed my nap, I don’t match and the Annies cheddar bunnies that were ripped out my hands looked good… as… Florida.
I would say Hell, but you said Florida IS hell so lets’s go with Florida.
Basically YOU AIN’T RIGHT.
And you can KISS…MY…………………ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
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- Postscript — It’s Razi’s Mama. He fell asleep and wants you all to know he’s having a lovely day
#YesIAmThatMom
#HolliesBrain
#KidMouthRunning
