Flipping The Script.

So here we are, two weeks in. I really wanted to write something about week one, but to be completely honest, by the time the first weekend came I was feeling funky and not up to putting in the extra time to talk about the experience. So I thought I would round it out with a post about the first two weeks as a whole.

I’m sharing that first part, and that lack of interest in talking about the experience because the exhaustion is real. The time consumption is also incredibly real. I’ve never had a more strict schedule in my life. They call it a boot-camp for a reason.

6:30 AM — Wake up

8–8:45 AM — Arrive at campus, this depends on the bus schedule. Which, if they are full or you miss them, your ass is walking in the snow until you catch the next one. It’s way too cold to stand and wait.

9–7 PM — Working on campus. We spend an hour each morning solving algorithms by hand on the whiteboard, and an hour each day on lecture. The remaining time is spent reading, and completing assignments, both solo and in groups.

I get home about 7:30–8, eat dinner, do homework or reading for the next day, and am in bed by 11 PM every night.

White-boarding algorithms day 1.

I don’t watch TV, I don’t exercise more than twice a week, I don’t socialize until the weekend, and I definitely don’t relax. It’s not pretty, it’s not glamorous, and it’s not exciting. I’m not living it up in Chicago, but despite that, I am loving this experience.

Although the above probably sounds miserable to most, I have never felt so empowered and eager to learn in my life. I thought it would be hard to put it in the 60–80 hrs a week that the website describes each student spending on work, but it honestly comes naturally. Most of us stay at campus after-hours if we can afford to, and the days just fly by.

Each day, and each week contain their own roller coaster of emotions. I’ll start the morning feeling really good, and then crash and burn on new material later that evening. I may have a meltdown at night, and the next morning brings an amazing day where everything clicks. It’s totally unpredictable, but it’s real.

I saw our students at The Iron Yard experience these same highs and lows, and swing of emotions each day, and sometimes even hourly. I knew it was a part of the process, and I even prepared myself for it. And still it straight-up smacks you in the face.

You will fall behind, and you will catch up. You will feel totally lost, and you will feel like you’re Steve Jobs. You will be hopeless, and you will be hopeful. It will happen, so just get used to living in the discomfort. At least that’s what I’m trying to tell myself.

More on that empowerment though.

I absolutely struggled my way through every math and science class I ever took growing up. I remember being paralyzed with fear when we would have to solve our daily word problem in my third grade math class. I would always freeze because the numbers and concepts did not come naturally to me, and I would just blank until someone announced the answer. That continued until college, when getting A’s in my math classes determined whether or not I would be able to transfer into Florida. After I took that last stats class in college, I remember feeling so relieved, like, “Finally! I am done with math and can rely on the calculator on my phone, or computer forever!” Psych. Joke’s on me. The second week of coding dojo, I had to pass a hand-written algorithms test, solving 13 algorithms in 26 minutes. It’s not easy for anyone, let alone someone who has doubted they possessed this skill their entire life.

But I did it. I passed it. And honestly, I understand them, and enjoyed the process of learning them. Why? Because of my academic history, believing I was born to be terrible at math and science. Believing that it was just in my genes, because I was a girl, and therefor naturally at a disadvantage with hose concepts.

I asked my instructor to write ‘Pass’ really big if I passed. This was the 3rd time I’d taken this test. 9–13 on back.

Taking the reins on my education, and challenging myself to learn something that not everyone can do, or chooses to do, makes me feel strong. It makes me feel confident, and intelligent, and empowered. And it doesn’t just ‘make me feel’ that way. It causes me to realize that I am those things. I am smart, I am confident, and I am strong. A few things I may have said about myself in the past, but didn’t truly believe. Flipping the script on these skills, and this narrative about myself has been one of the best parts of this experience thus far. Because let me tell you what, if you don’t believe in yourself, when you are stepping outside of your comfort zone, you’re going to fail even quicker.

That was dramatic. But it’s my party (blog) and i’ll cry if (write what) I want to.

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Don’t worry, I promise when it does come to the weekend, I do let my hair down, and explore the city! (But not without at least 6 hours of work too.)