JET WATER BIKE! There are old pilots, and there are bold pilots…
…but there are no old, bold pilots.
If base jumping, running with the bulls, and cave diving have just become too passé, a new thrill awaits extreme sports enthusiasts. Aptly described “Water Jet Devices” (WJDs) are on the market under a number of brand names including Flyboards™ and Jetovators.™ Under this fun/terrifying arrangement, individuals “ride a hydro-powered apparatus above the surface of the water while connected to a personal watercraft or other power source that supplies thrust through a hose connecting the two devices.” Sounds like a blast…and bring the kiddies!
Although the WJD experience has been lyrically described as “flying like an eagle,” we here at Eagle Eggs are keeping our wings tightly folded, thanks very much. Seriously, check this out…
What could possibly go wrong?
“Hey guys, somebody hold my beer!”
“Oh, come on honey…he’s mature for 16”
“It’s not that rough, and the lightning is way over there”
“I just want to see if it will hold my weight”
“Let’s play chicken!”
Not surprisingly, the Coast Guard has taken an interest in WJDs, and after having received “numerous inquiries” about using the devices, the agency got into the fun and issued a Marine Safety Information Bulletin addressing licensing requirements and safety recommendations. Among the recommendations is this deceptively mild tip: “Assessment of the need for an additional person(s) and/or a chase boat to provide assistance and maintain situational awareness of the WJD operation and surrounding/oncoming traffic, particularly in congested areas.” No kidding! “Earl, what the hell is that guy ridin’? BOOM!”
…and then there’s this gem to set the holiday mood: “Emergency procedures for injuries, drowning, loss of vessel control, retrieval of conscious persons in the water, inadvertent dragging of passengers, and subsequent notifications to the company office, family members, and Coast Guard.” “Hey, has this thang slowed down? Well pea turkey, we must be draggin’ three or four of them guys on hoses!”
The thing is, the Coast Guard really does care. The Service assumed expanded security missions when it became part of DHS in 2003, but marine safety continues to be an important legacy mission. Intended to facilitate safe maritime commerce, marine safety regulations and recommendations are vital to protect consumers in the maritime environment.
Especially if the consumer is essentially riding a hose.
