“What is life but being conscious? And good and evil are manifestations of consciousness. If you reject one, you’re not getting the whole thing that’s there to be had.”
— Jerry Garcia
Perils and Pleasures of Ultimate Awareness
I woke up today thinking of Jerry Garcia and my years in Las Vegas where I spent a great deal of time at Grateful Dead shows, living like a hippie. I cannot help but feel deep peace and smile a big ol’ smile when I think of my time listening to the Dead. And whenever I think about the Grateful Dead, I think about all the wonders of the universe and all that my eyes have seen.
Once your eyes have been opened, it is impossible to erase what they have seen. You can close your eyes again, but the images become a part of your dreams or thoughts. This is good and it is bad. The bad is obvious – when you see traumatic events or read about something horrific, such as the Boston Marathon bombing or the constant images of the World Trade Center towers collapsing, it will stay with you. It may haunt you or disrupt your sleep. When I read the book Roots, by Alex Haley, I had nightmares for weeks and I still can visualize the slave ships – and this was just from reading a book. Imagine the difference when you actually live it such as the many survivors of disaster.
This is why many live their lives with their heads in the sand. They would much rather not see or hear or touch the bad. If they don’t know about it, then it cannot harm them. My mom once told me that her generation would much rather not talk about the bad times, and forget they happened, where my generation tends to swim around in the bad times to examine them fully.
I believe in keeping my eyes wide open to capture the good with the bad. There are those that want us to forget the holocaust ever happened, but imagine the lessons that would be lost if we closed our eyes to those who died in concentration camps during WWII or the internment camps for Japanese Americans after WWII? When we bury our heads in the sand we repeat our mistakes over and over again. And while life would often be much easier or more enjoyable if I was able to keep my eyes closed to all that is going on around me, I wouldn’t be part of the solution because I would never fully recognize the problem.
This brings me to the true gift of keeping your eyes open to the world around you. It brings wonder into your existence. I will look at something such as a straw sticking out of my cup of water and think, “I wonder who originally thought to put a straw in a drink to make it easier for the liquid to go down,” or even the idea of carpet in a bedroom. Who would have thought of something like that? Maybe after too many nights with freezing feet and no way to warm them they invented a rug and then thought, “Well, I might as well just cover the whole floor instead of just this small space, then my feet will never get cold.” These are the things that keep me up at night – the wonder of the universe and the amazing brilliance of every invention. And it just intensifies further when I read about the universe from someone like Stephen Hawking or when I stand in Italy looking up at the Sistine Chapel and think about Michelangelo’s vision and drive. Too many people are too busy to take the time to pay attention to the wonder of a sunrise, or the joy of a dog with a new-found bone. I have those moments like others where life is so busy I let the wonder pass me by. And then I have a day like today where I woke up and read a magazine article about the Grateful Dead, and it took me back to summer days in a lawn chair with a beer in my hand and music in my ears, where absolutely everything was perfect, and the wonder of the universe was all around me.
Those who choose to live life with their heads in the sand, or with their eyes closed to the tragedies of the world, may believe they are protected and safe. They may believe their life is complete. But it is just an illusion. In reality, they are not only unable to fully prepare for what might come but they are also unable to truly see the wonders of the world. Without the bad, they cannot experience the truly grand. I feel great joy because I have experienced utter sadness. And I wouldn’t give up those moments of joy or sadness for anything in the world.
“Deadheads deal with adversity by remembering that when they’ve done all there is to do, there’s nothing left to do but smile, smile, smile.”
