[satire] Is Ebola Really the Coming Zombie Apocalypse in Disguise?

The New England Journal of Medicine recently published a case study of persistent Ebola Virus Disease (EVD) in the aqueous humor (the fluid inside of the “eyeball”) of the left eye of a survivor of the disease. Despite the fact that the patient, a 40's male, had resolution of many of his symptoms, he was still having visual disturbances that included a loss of visual acuity and photophobia (sensitivity to light) fourteen weeks after his initial diagnosis with EVD. In addition to his visual changes, he had persistent muscle pain, weakness and decreased mobility of his lower limbs, and difficulty walking. These symptoms are common among victims of EVD and among the survivors.

Another interesting finding in the case study was the change in his eye color from blue to green, in the affected eye.

Emory Eye Center

While this may seem to be merely an interesting coincidental finding in the case, careful observation of other facts lead to more concerning findings.

Similarities?

It is an interesting and compelling set of correlations between the epidemic of EVD, particularly in the population of survivors, and the zombie apocalypse. In the case study, the survivor had symptoms that led to difficulty walking, difficulty recalling words and visual problems.

…10 weeks after the onset of EVD symptoms, the patient’s word-finding difficulty and exercise tolerance were markedly improved, but he had new symptoms, including low back pain involving the right lumbar and sacroiliac region, bilateral enthesitis of the Achilles’ tendon, and paresthesias involving the distal lower limbs.

If we take this case as a typical EVD case study, and compare these symptoms with what we know about zombies, perhaps we should be more concerned.

Considering this combination of signs and symptoms, the common presentation of zombies is more understandable.

Take, for example the posture of the zombies in this photo. It is apparent that there is difficulty in maintaining an upright posture, causing them to list to one side, and leading to the distinctive zombie gait. Sacroiliac compromise and enthesitis of their Achilles tendons are quite reasonable explanations for the ataxia. Their eyes have changed color as well. The difficulty in finding words is also evident, leaving them to groan and utter “braaaaaaiiiiiinnnnns” repeatedly, in their obvious inability to recall other words. These stark similarities give cause for Americans to give some real thought to being prepared for this epidemic, beyond the treatment of the acutely ill. Perhaps the survivors are the ones with whom we should really be concerned. It is unknown what the incubation period is between “recovery” and conversion to an undead, brain-slurping staggering monster.

Why Do We Ignore the Facts?

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) introduced a program for preparedness for a zombie apocalypse in May of 2011, as a tongue in cheek means of focusing the American public on preparedness. Or was it? The CDC, the nation’s Ebola lead, and Emory University have an intimate academic relationship. The stark similarities between EVD survivors and the undead could be coincidence, or maybe we’re just ignoring the obvious….

From the CDC’s Zombie Preparedness Campaign

From the Emory Eye Center, where the “survivor” was treated

Be prepared. Oh, and don’t get bit.