TSA Using New Technology to Improve Safety

The new technology should increase TSA “friendliness”

WASHINGTON — The Transportation Security Agency (TSA) is testing an artificial nose that is 162% more sensitive than a dog’s nose. In a limited number of airports, employees are studying the viability of replacing drug sniffing dogs with these new devices. “This is an exciting step forward for Homeland Security,” officials within TSA stated.

The device, which augments the employee’s nose, is worn by specially trained TSA employees who will then be able to “smell” luggage for contraband. The program will include inspection of cargo, aircraft, parked cars, abandoned bags and other stationary objects found in and around airports. The cyborg nose is designed to be comfortable to wear and non-intimidating to the public. Several iterations were tested until the TSA found the right mix of form and functionality.

Several prototypes were rejected, this one had breathability concerns.

An early proposal that was quickly eliminated due to the difficulty of finding red suspenders.

The elite employees receive special training in how to interact with the public. The training, conducted by Nonverbal Communication Specialists, focuses on effective, non-threatening interaction with passengers and Airport employees. Of course, situations can escalate at any time so the employees will be trained for a variety of contingencies. Since two-thirds of communication is nonverbal and the skills taught cross all language barriers, employees are discouraged from using words. It is hoped, rather than appearing creepy, the augmented TSA employees will disarm any opposition by emulating familiar canine antics and a positive, good-natured attitude found in most TSA employees.

Nonverbal Communications Specialists posing for a photograph between training sessions.

Thanks to this technological advancement, multiple substances will be able to be detected and identified, a limitation of using canines. Officials claim this will be as significant as the x-ray machine which replaced the unreliable and, some say, unethical x-ray glasses in the early ‘80s.

The promise of X-ray glasses largely went unfulfilled.

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Posted by Pivotal Planning Team — www.theleeksatire.com

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