What I tell my kids about Memorial Day…
As Memorial Day approaches, my children always ask me about what we are celebrating and I always tell them that we are celebrating a good friend and good man named Rick Crocker. It is a day that we celebrate his life, his goodness, and his sacrifice.
I met Rick before I had my kids. My wife and I had just started living together at the beach and Rick was one of our apartment neighbors. The first time I met him we were instant friends as he was a police officer and I was a paramedic. We could tell good stories and relate to a life of public safety. Throughout the first few months we would sit outside our apartment complex on the deck and look out at the ocean. He and my wife would have a glass of wine and chocolate and we would share the stories of our lives.
Over time I found that Rick was unlike anyone I had ever met. He was a Marine who had been in the first Iraq war and now was proud to be in the reserves. During his “day job” he was a SWAT team member and solid police officer yet he talked more about the joys of the job in his ability to reach young at risk kids. He was constantly leading a group of them on a hiking trip or baseball game. He was finishing a master’s degree at a local prestigious university just to be able to relate to them more. He was constantly looking for ways to make the community better.
He often worked the night shift and we would pass each other on the front steps; me going to work and him coming home. We would briefly catch up. I would share my frustrations with life and he would just pause for a moment, turn around and look toward the ocean and say, “Man, we have a great life.” It never mattered if he had a tough night at work or had seen some atrocity at work. He was always positive, reflective, and smiling. As time went by, I strived to have his attitude, his introspective nature, and his view of the world.
I remember clearly sitting out on the porch one weekend and him telling us that he was being deployed to Iraq. I was in disbelief but knew as a Marine, it was where he wanted to be. I asked him what was he being tasked with and he said, “Civil Affairs”. I had no idea what that meant. I asked him if there was anything we could do while he was gone and he said to write him email, letters, and send care packages. I asked what he wanted and he said anything that he could give to kids including stickers, pencils, and candy. He was going to win the hearts and minds of the Iraqi people.
Rick deployed twice and he would always send us emails with updates. Most of the emails were upbeat and he would talk about the successes of his mission. He would share pictures of him with happy local kids or in front of a new school or hospital with local leaders. He would talk about his team and what wonderful people they were. Some of his emails were also very sad. He would talk about the deaths or injuries of his Marines in various battles or roadside IED attacks. He never stopped asking us for our prayers and support.
On May 26th, 2005 (ten years ago, a day after this Memorial Day), Major Rick Crocker was killed in Haditha in Operation New Market assisting Marines secure an area in the Al Anbar providence. He was with is team in an empty warehouse when a rocket propelled grenade hit the structure. He died trying to shield three young Marines.
When I heard about his death, I was stunned and numb for several days. I could not believe that my friend was dead. I was in disbelief that a man that was their to help win the hearts and minds of the people abroad and at home was killed. A good man, a good Marine, a good cop, a good mentor, and a good friend was gone too soon.
Several days later, I attended his funeral with full military and police honors in his hometown. Many of his colleagues eulogized him and spoke about the same man that I knew yet the stories were even more incredible than what I had experienced. He truly meant so much to his teams, his friends, his family, and his “kids” from the local community center.
Several months after his death, the city dedicated a sign in his memory on a major freeway in Southern California. I now get to pass this many days on my way to work. Everyday becomes a reminder of my friend Rick. It reminds me to try to be a bit more like him…
To read more about my friend:
