Why Did the Canadians Cross the Border?
MONTREAL— According to a recent report released by the sociology department at McGill University, the food giant McDonald’s has finally gotten into the brains (and stomachs) of the average Canadian.
The report states that up until very recently, Canadians have been able to “mostly” resist dining at the well-known American franchise in favor of its Canadian counterpart — Tim Horton’s — where the Big Mac, Filet-O-Fish, or even the World Famous Fries were no match to the handcrafted paninis and Timbits (doughnut holes) of the Canadian chain.
However, since the introduction of the All Day Breakfast Menu which touts that its “items vary by location-deliciousness doesn’t”, the average Canadian can no longer resist the enticement of the towering Bacon, Egg, & Cheese Biscuit; Sausage McMuffin with Egg; or the ever-delicious Egg McMuffin.
What the McGill report does not get into, is that McDonald’s All Day Breakfast Menu is offered only in the United States; therefore, the average Canadian is now traveling an average of between 85km (53m) — 120km ( 75m) to the closest American McDonald’s to eat there. Lucky for most average Canadians that they live within that range from the American border.
The undercover video posted below, recently found in the dusty You Tube Archives, shows one of the first pioneering journeys of the average Canadian to a US McDonald’s serving the All Day Breakfast Menu. These courageous souls begin their journey in Montreal in search of breakfast after 11am. After being turned away at a drive-through, they valiantly continue their meal quest, driving through the city, across the St. Lawrence River, down the southern plains of Quebec to a US border station.
The US border guard, although amazed at the nature of the trip, instinctively knows that their quest is one of honor. After being tracked down, the border official in the video stated in a recent interview, he was “Shocked, simply shocked that they had driven all that way to go eat at McDonald’s. What courage!” He went on to say, “Back then — this was 2015, mind you — it was something no one ever did, today it is normal to have a rush at the border around 10 o-clock in the morning — everyone is going to get a McGriddle and a hash brown!” According to the same official, who wishes to remain anonymous, the government has increased its border staffing around this time for this exact reason.
If you are easily lured by a breakfast sandwich, caution watching is advised:
As one can see from this amazing video, the US McDonald’s draw was irresistible for those four brave Canadians. So the answer to “Why did the Canadians cross the border?” They crossed the border for McDonald’s All Day Breakfast and their only regret for the trek — not eating breakfast before going.
*SATIRICAL POST WARNING*
Posted by Pivotal Planning Team — www.theleeksatire.com
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