MARRIAGE & FAMILY LIFE!
The Institution Called “Marriage”
By: Aderinsola Obasa
The story of the establishment of marriage is a story well known to almost every living being but children.
At creation, God made man and then realised it was not good for man to be alone and so He formed the woman out of the man to be his suitable helper and brought the woman to the man to be his wife. This is the genesis of the marriage institution but someway, somehow, a good percentage of the married adults have set aside why God instituted marriage and have caged the marriage institution into their various erroneous/baseless cultures and traditions. This development has brought its tales of woes on marriage to the extent that we have the volume of failed marriages, today, as have never been witnessed in the history of mankind.
Marriage was designed by God to be a place of love, comfort and harmony where two people become one in spirit and flesh; helping each other become the best that they can be as individuals. Again, this unit has suddenly become a battle field and a valley of blood. It is not enough that we have so many failed marriages but that we have started experiencing spouses killing each other needlessly. One tries to imagine what will be running through the mind of God when He looks down at so many homes that we have today compared to His original plan. Just like in many areas of our lives, it is important that we begin to search God’s original design for the institution of marriage and follow diligently after God’s instruction, if we must have any meaningful revival in our marriages.
Often times, tradition has passed the bulk of marital responsibility on the men/husbands, while the women/wives are regarded as the weaker ones that should be pampered and cared for. According to tradition, a woman’s job in marriage is to stay at home, take care of the children and wait on her husband. The wife/mother is responsible for everything wrong in the marriage while the husband holds the responsibility to go out and look for money to fend for his family. An in-depth study of the Scripture revealed in God’s design that it is a pattern. What I just described is tradition twisting God’s word; it is not God’s design for marriage at the beginning; at all!
Every successful marriage begins with a good wife, the husband’s negativity notwithstanding. God’s instructions on marriage, according to Apostles Paul and Peter in Ephesians 5:22-31, Colossians 3:18-19 and 1Peter 3:1-7, were first to the wives. This was so because marriage does not work based on the man’s authority; it takes two to tangle and if a man is good and his wife has a handful of negativity (unwillingness) in her, such a marriage will be standing on a very thin thread of success. Wives are like vessels of success in the lives of their husbands, so placed by God to help the man succeed in all that God has assigned him to do.
Let’s Look at the Instructions:
1. The first instruction was to the wife -‘SUBMIT’ to your husbands as unto the Lord. Why will God ask the woman to submit to her husband as unto the Lord when He knows that there are various species of men out there and coping with some of them is a huge task? Well, God made the woman as a suitable helper to her husband and she can only perform her role effectively when she submits to him. Unlike what tradition is teaching us today, wives are not equal with their husbands, rather they are the container in which God has packaged all the favour the man needs in his life’s journey. The wife is placed in the life of her husband as a complement (favour) and not to compete with him or pull him down. That is why Solomon said in Proverbs 18:22: “he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from God”. So the saying goes that “behind every successful man is a woman”; but not just any woman, “behind every successful man is his good wife”.
2. The second instruction from God was to the husband -“LOVE” and “CARE” for your wife in the way and manner Christ loved and cared for the Church. The husband, the head of the home, holds the responsibility to care for his wife and train his children. God provided a clear example to the husband as a pattern to follow, the manner in which Christ loves and cares for the church, so it will help the husbands to understand better what God expects of them when it comes to the issue of their wives/family. Jesus loved the church so much that He died for her. He didn’t just die for the church, He laid a pattern of righteous living for the church; He protected and is still protecting the church and presently advocating for the Church, sitting at the right hand of God the Father. He ensures that those who belong to Jesus lack nothing; always providing for all their needs. So if Christ did all these things and is still doing them then these are the things God expects of a man to his wife.
It is important for the man to know and understand that the tool of accomplishment of his life’s assignment is his wife.
First, she is his suitable helper and second, she is the container carrying the favour of God for his life. A man that will accomplish much in his lifetime will be quick to learn the secret of loving and caring for his wife. When you disdain and maltreat your wife, you are running down God’s favour for your life. When things aren’t looking good for you, first check your attitude towards your wife and make necessary corrections, where required, if you truly want to get back your destiny and with time, you will begin to notice some real improvement.
At the beginning God declared that it was not good for the man to be alone and so He made a help meet for him and stated that they are no longer two but one both in flesh and spirit. In Genesis 11:6, He then declared that as one people speaking the same language nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them.
Finally, King Solomon concluded the matter, in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, by saying that two are better than one because they have a good return for their labour. This is the end result of the original design of God for marriage at the beginning; the wife who submits to her husband as unto the Lord and a husband who loves his wife unconditionally, without any reservation, as Christ loved the Church, both have good reward for their efforts.
When the husband and the wife both adhere to the rules strictly, then we have two becoming one, in flesh and spirit, and nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them and as such they will always have a good return for their labour.
Hope this article blessed someone out there. You have questions/comments or need counsel? Do send a mail to:homesalivemagazine@gmail.com; homesalivefamily@gmail.com; cc: derin.obasa@gmail.com.
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