Quit trying to fit in
When being alone is not just okay, but totally cool.
I’ve been a Bboy (breakdancer to the layman) for over 10 years now.
And I suck…
… in the sense that I’m not as good as I hope to be now.
Of course, I got no one to blame except myself.
Years of making up excuses has brought me to where I am.
I didn't dare to dance in front others for a long, long time. I was really scared to fuck it up and look like a fool.
I didn't dare to take part in competitions. I was either injured, too tired or not feeling the vibe.
I was just a little pussy who was scared of everything.
As a result, straight-up: The best friends I have today (fellow Bboys I hang out with) have created their own crews and formed bonds that have lasted nearly a decade now.
Their experience is way higher than mine.
It’s almost impossible for me to fit in when it comes to wanting to join a competition with them.
Many were the times I watched them win battles and take the glory on stage.
One time, all of them were sponsored to compete overseas and I was like, “God damn. I so want to be there!”.
I’m pretty much alone all the time as I practice at the side alone and… not join competitions at all.
Did I feel left out? Sure did.
Do I care today? Not at all.
It’s all good today.
Not being able to fit in has shown me the true path I’m supposed to take not just in Bboying, but in my life.
I discovered I was an introvert all along, which explains why I always felt uneasy when I keep hearing about group situations.
Feeling left out isn’t a problem. It shouldn’t be treated like as if it’s some sort of disease.Being left out is a moment for you to shine.
The art of the introvert
There’s a ton of books and studies on being an introvert, so I’ll just give my own definition.
Being an introvert doesn’t mean you’re shy or that you can’t be around people.
It merely means you grow and evolve best when you’re alone.
You recharge yourself by being alone and away from people.
And when you feel like it, you just get out there and be with whoever the hell you want to be with.
Realizing that I belong to this category did wonders for my confidence, self-esteem and my social life.
It may be a tough idea to swallow. I mean, we’re only human and all we have is each other. We’re bound to interact with one another right?
Fair enough.
But if you are like the old me, it’s about damn time you open up from within.
Why you should quit trying to fit in and accept that being alone is totally cool
- This is your art
When you’re alone, your heart and mind are one with you.
Whatever you do, becomes your art.
I don’t need any ideas of competitions or camaraderie any more because I know when I’m alone, anything I make is original and from the heart.
2. You need not ever seek validation from others
Remember, it is your art.
Be proud of it.
Just because you don’t follow a certain system doesn’t mean it’s bad.
Just because others shit on it doesn’t mean it’s lousy.
You did it your way and that’s enough.
3. Indulge in meaningful alone activities
For one, read. Go to your library and keep reading.
Forget movies, parties and even weddings.
Watch meaningful documentaries. Write. Paint. Make poetry. Sing. Compose. Meditate.
Never stop creating.
This is how you start to look forward to being alone all the time, much to the surprise of others. They’ll probably think you’re emo.
You aren’t. You’re being the awesome introvert you are.
4. This independence will be with you forever
This is a real skill.
This is how world-travellers are born.
This is how entrepreneurs crush it with their daring ideas as they defy what others are doing.
This is how the most beautiful art is created.
And you’ll never be afraid again as you don’t need the security of being around others any more.
It doesn’t matter which part of your life you’re at. Take that happiness when you’re alone. Don’t let awkwardness take over.
Hold that world in your hands.
