For several months, I have felt pretty bad about my writing. I almost forgot about those feelings while I was on my vacation, but once I began reading the work and good news of some friends this weekend, I realized that I still feel like I will never be a great writer.
Or, like I will never be the great writer that I hope to be.
The thing is, I am happy for my friends. Those with popular or viral stories. Those with new columns or incredible bylines.
They deserve every good thing in the world and I am so happy to see them thriving.
But do you know what?
I still feel left behind.
Yup. I still wonder when my next big break will come, or if it will come at all.
And then I rack my brain with ideas for new stories. New submissions.
I try to encourage other writers and let them know that I get rejected all the damn time. It's a lot like dating, apparently.
My writing isn't for everyone and there's something both liberating and daunting about that.
See, I still believe in being my own biggest fan. And I still believe that my bigger breaks are coming.
But I'd be lying if I said I never get down in the dumps about my future as a writer. Honestly, I battle self-doubt and insecurity all of the time. The whole time.
And I dont know if that's going to help you, but I'm hoping it makes some sort of difference with your own fears.
At the very least, I hope you know that you aren't alone in your thoughts.
You can feel afraid or insecure and still keep writing.
That's actually exactly what I do.