Predatory Men Routinely Sidestep Sexual Consent
There's a difference between consensual hookups and predatory patterns.
Whenever we talk about predatory behavior by men and the #MeToo movement, I see a lot of confusion. People on all sides of the aisle seem to grapple awkwardly with the question of what’s okay and what’s not okay in sexual or flirtatious encounters.
A lot of folks like to say that anything between two consenting adults is fine — except we seem to have real trouble defining consent. Too many people define it in terms of legal age and desire. But being 18 and wanting to fuck someone is not the same as true consent, and it doesn’t even begin to address the problem of predatory behavior among men.
That’s why I’d say that true consent is informed consent, and informed consent is much bigger than the sort of consent most of us love to talk about.
One of the greatest arguments against infidelity is how it removes a partner’s ability to give full consent in their relationship. Anyone who happens to be in a relationship with you has a right to decide whether or not they wish to stay with you. When you cheat on a partner, you’ve changed the terms of the entire relationship without giving them any notice.
