Dear <whatever your auto-generated name is>,
Thank you for applying to our company. You do realize that I am paid to say this, so do not flatter yourself. I personally couldn’t care less as to who’s applying.
After a careful consideration of your application, which included passing your resume through moronic filters and then playing abracadabra with the shortlisted ones, we’ve decided to move forward with other candidates who more closely matched our present filters err…needs.
It was a difficult decision for us to make (yawn) as the level of competition was extremely high. Or so our company would like you to believe.
We’ll keep your file on record for future positions, which if you come to think, is a batshit-level stupid idea since the same filters will apply again. But that’s what was written in the rejection template that I have been using for the past 10 years! So, yeah, whatever.
Though I highly doubt you are still reading this; however, just in case you are, I would like to rub sea-salt into your wounds by wishing you good luck for a bright future ahead.
At this point if your rational mind is looking for further explanation, then please be a guest in my list of ‘no-fucks-given’.
Brutally Honestly, Everyone Hates Me
I recently started a publication for all my articles. Check out if you’d like to (link below). Else you may look out for me here only. Thanks.