Honey Daiquiri
“I love love, I love being in love, I don’t care what it does to me…” Things I sing while I’m stalking my crush. What? It’s allowed now! #Twitter #JesseWilliams
by Nicole Brown
Double Daiquiri
It’s official. I’m no longer safe in my own home. I just got used to Nora always being here and if I’m being perfectly honest it could be worse. Bugsy does seem happy — well as happy as any machine on autopilot can be — but Nora does seem to be turning him into a real boy! Although I watched them watch all the Godfather movies back to back and I’m pretty sure that was a test from Bugsy to see if she can handle the violence — but still! The point is, she did well and I wouldn’t go as far as to say I like her but I’m definitely warming up to the idea of coming home from college every day and seeing her at my house. And that’s got nothing to do with the fact she made me Pizza Hut Cookie Dough after googling the recipe online and who am I kidding, everyone knows the way into Daiquiri’s good books is sweet baked treats — but I digress. Because this isn’t about Nora. This is about Tandy. Bic Tandy. David Tandy’s son. Who’s in my house…
We stare face to face as in the corner of my eye I see Chris Hemsworth — the top of my ‘I’ll lock you in my elevator’ list — squaring off with The Destroyer. I slowly back out of the room straight into Bugsy as he sips his glass of water — yes he actually drinks and enjoys water — while looking past me at the movie.
‘Um, Bugsy, is that who I think it is?’
‘Bic. He comes basketball.’
‘Yes but why is he in our house? My house? Wait, what?’
‘How are you so easily confused?’
‘Just answer the question!’
‘He wanted to come over so I let him.’
‘Why?’
‘He’d seen and liked the Avengers but hadn’t seen Thor so here we are-’
‘You let him into our house when he hasn’t watched Thor! You came into my house having not watched Thor!’ Before I know it I’m staring back at Bic Tandy as he looks up at me through his glasses in what I believe to be amusement but his face hasn’t really changed all that much. He shrugs and I get the impression he’s a man of little words. I take this as a sign he’d like me to continue with my rant so I oblige. ‘How dare you come into my house having not watched Thor!’
‘He also hasn’t seen Iron Man.’ Bugsy, ever the stirrer.
‘This is an outrage, turn off my T.V right now, how dare you disgrace the Marvel name by watching the Avengers before any of the prequels — shame on you sir-’
‘That’s enough out of you.’ Bugsy says grabbing my whole face in his hand and manoeuvring me out of the room.
*New Message*
Daiquiri: Are you a witch? Seriously did you cast a spell? Never guess who’s in my house?
Honey: The tooth fairy? Santa! Someone that’ll clean your room!
Daiquiri: There’s not enough magic in the world Honey -_- David Tandy’s Son. Admit it, this was your doing wasn’t it?
Honey: Lol. Not at all but I’ll be happy to take credit. What’s he doing at your house?
Daiquiri: Sitting on the couch with Bugs — do you know he hasn’t watched Thor!? What kind of a man hasn’t watched Thor or Iron Man but has watched the Avengers? A fool I say!
Honey: So he’s with Bugs, but where are you?
Daiquiri: Er, in the dining room, playing Sims, duh?
Honey: Turn off your laptop right now and go and talk to him!
Daiquiri: Yeah fat chance, and what should I say?
Daiquiri: And why didn’t you tell me he wore gigantic nerd glasses?
Honey: I mean it Daiquiri! Turn it off and go be a human. And he must take them off before playing basketball. Ya know. That sport you both have in common?
Daiquiri: But Honeeeeey Simmmssssss.
Honey: Do you want to die alone? ’Cause that’s exactly what will happen if you avoid human contact.
Daiquiri: I won’t have to die alone if you hurry up and have a baby. I could be a live in nanny!
Honey: Now Daiquiri.
I sigh locking my phone and closing my laptop.
Even from a distance, ‘mama knows best’.
I slink back into the front room just as Bugsy opens the door walking out on the phone to who I assume is most likely Nora. Bic glances up at me and I stare back at him awkwardly. This is the part where you speak Daiquiri, I think to myself remembering Honey’s text. How to be human 1O1, fake it ’til you make it.
I take a deep breath thinking about all the topics I could discuss. Clearly not Marvel because let’s face it, he’s not a fan. Maybe basketball? Although I admit I only know the bare standard fan minimum, mainly focusing on who I think is hot — Stephen Curry is not one of them. I guess I could always talk about basketball and how long he’s been playing? Hoping to God he doesn’t bring up his father whom I loathe? Ok. Lesser than two evils it is.
‘Take off your glasses.’ I hear myself command like a strange default question. He looks up at me, his expression no different than before as he lifts his hand, pulling the glasses from his face and blinking up at me with massive round brown eyes. Well at least I know the glasses weren’t what was making them huge. I feel myself start to smile as he continues to watch me every once and a while glancing back at the T.V while the movie plays to itself. ‘Huh.’ I smirk, surprised not at his lack of emotion, but by his simple non-confrontational obedience. I back out of the room.
Monday 14th July, 2008
‘You really don’t have to walk me to class Fanning.’ I say as we stop outside my Maths class and he holds my hand in his.
‘Of course I do. You’re my girl.’ I smile as he rubs his thumb over my hand and Liam and Zeke cough loudly from behind him. I glance up at my boyfriend’s best friends wishing I could make them disappear with my mind as Fanning pecks me on the hand stepping away. ‘I’ll see you later babe.’
‘Bye Fanning.’ I say as he play fights down the hall with Liam and Zeke and I take a deep breath turning into yet another class I don’t have with Brianna.
I walk over to the back table sitting down as Mr Nelson, the only Math’s teacher that has ever made me believe Math’s is easy, starts to write the date on the board.
‘Alright everybody settle down, we have an announcement.’ The class turns to attention as Mr Nelson turns, nodding to someone from behind the door. ‘We have a new student joining us, please be on your best behaviour to show him how things are done here.’ The door opens as a tall mixed-race boy, with freshly shaven brown hair and bright greenish-brown eyes strides into the room with his head held high and his lips pressed together in that ‘I’m a homeless rapper’ way the boys think looks hard. The girls all giggle and gasp, immediately adjusting their bras and unbuttoning a few buttons on their shirts as the boys all cheer at the new boy they obviously know. He gives them an upwards nod with an expression I can only assume means ‘I’m too cool to smile’ as he makes his way over to Mr Nelson who happily, looks just as unimpressed as I do.
‘Alright settle down, I take it you know him?’
‘Yeah! Man went Harris! He’s sick at football boss, we played your team last year init?’
‘Yeah, when you lost.’ The boys all cheer again as the girls giggle taking their turns flicking their hair and Mr Nelson all but rolls his eyes as he steps beside the new kid.
‘Well for those that don’t know, this is Quest Strikers, and he’ll be joining us in Maths. Please take your seat at the back.’ My heart starts to race as I realise where Mr Nelson is pointing and Quest Strikers turns his gaze to the seat opposite mine. We simultaneously look up at each other as my heart double flips back into my lungs and my hands instantly ball into fists. He scans my face with his eyes as I lock my jaw and his mouth slowly turns into a sideways smirk.
And in that moment I knew:
I’m gonna hate Quest Strikers.
‘Where’d the boy go?’ I ask Bugsy returning to the front room after retreating upstairs to practice the song I have to sing for our poor excuse of a play at Nescot.
‘Home.’
‘Oh. Did he say anything about me?’
‘Yeah, he said he liked your voice when I went to shut the door and asked me not to.’
‘Aw. That’s actually nice.’ I sit down on the couch tapping a few keys on the keyboard as I turn back to Bugsy while he scales buildings on the latest Assassins Creed game, already almost clocked I assume. ‘So when did you guys get close enough that you would invite him over?’
‘I never invited him over, he was bored and asked if he could come over after school, I allowed it. Then he said he’d never watched Thor, so I put it on.’
‘Yeah but… you hate people.’ He shrugs as I pause a moment in thought. The two most robotic people I know, that put Arnie himself to shame, seem to both somehow enjoy Bic Tandy’s company and they just so happen to be the closest people to me, other than my parents. I sigh. Well David Tandy, you must have done something right.
I turn back to face Bugsy. ‘If you wanted to give him my number, you could.’
‘Nah. He should ask you. Fam Fest is coming up, he’ll be there helping out.’
‘Be careful there Bugs, you almost sounded like you cared. Has Nora made that old tin can of a heart tick?’ Someone yells out in pain as I turn to the T.V and Ezio stabs them through the back, flinging their body to the floor beneath him. I turn back to Bugsy while he smirks.
‘Sure. Nora’s great.’ I look at my non-biological brothers evil smirk and realise, it doesn’t matter who it is, much like Dexter, the woman that ends up with Bugsy, will always be second to the main love of his life…
Violence.
Somebody’s gotta tell Nora…
