Honey Daiquiri

If Ra’s Al Ghul allows women into the League of Assassins, there’s no reason SBA shouldn’t. Just try and tell me it’s not real! You know what is real? SEXISM! #GirlBallerProblems

by Nicole Brown

Daiquiri’s Dark-side

I’m a gentle soul. Really, I couldn’t hurt a fly. Unless that fly was a five foot two red lipstick wearing skankathon that tried to ruin my life, steal my best friend and ultimately tarnish my name!

‘Excuse me?’ Katrina says as everyone holds their breath through the tension. I take a step forward as her body flinches. Oh she’s afraid. She’s very afraid. And I am a gentle soul. I should really let it go. Let her continue to live in this lie where I’m the heartless witch she had to rise above in order to find true happiness. I should end this conversation right here and now, turn around and be the bigger person. Afterall, what would Honey do?

‘angel frequency’ by Alice Popkorn / is licensed by CC by 2.0.

‘I said, if you have something to say, say it to my face instead of mumbling it behind my back like a little child.’ Sorry Honey…

‘And I said, you’re a skank!’ Katina shouts as everyone braces themselves and Katrina swallows.

‘Oh really Katrina? Well how about you come over here and explain to me just how exactly I’m the skank?’ Miss lost-my-virginity-behind-a-staircase-last-year? She looks at me as I look at her. She looks at Ricky while I look at her. She looks around to everyone while I look straight ahead at her. Noone to run to Katrina. No where to hide. Everyone is waiting for the justified girlfriend to stand up for herself and stone the sinner before you. To air out her dirty laundry and claim the six foot dark-skinned prize. To finally fight back against the girl, who apparently made your life hell last year. I mean that’s what all the rumors you spread around said? So what are you waiting for Katrina? I allowed you to talk-the-talk for the sake of being left alone. But now you want to walk-the-walk, let’s see what you’ve prepared for the class this evening. ‘Well?’ I add as she pushes her lips out trying to look less terrified.

‘Can we talk over there?’ She says through a trembling - surprisingly calmer voice. I roll my eyes kicking open the door to the rest of the hall behind me.

‘After you.’ I say as she quickly retreats through the doors, while everyone’s eyes watch her confused. I spare a glance at Ricky as he watches me apologetically, and then turn out of the room after my prey.

‘Early greys, smokey daze’ by Darren Johnson / is licensed by CC by 2.0.

Monday 4th August, 2008

‘I see you’re still upset DQ.’

‘Quest, for the last time, don’t call me that.’

‘But your full name is so long, as sweet as it is.’

‘Wow. You’re doing name puns now Quest? Could you be more ironic?’

‘Quest is a better name than Daiquiri, and would you look at that, it’s only one syllable.’

‘Probably because your mama thought a longer more intelligent name would be too hard for you to spell. Dyslexia's a witch.’

‘Wow. You’re doing ‘yaw mama’ jokes and disability jabs now D? I expected more from you.’

‘Oh my God stop copying the way I speak!’

‘Are you even allowed to say God when you aren’t praying Christian girl? I’m pretty sure that’s a sin?’

‘No, murder is a sin. But after I kill you I’ll repent and I’m sure God will forgive me.’ We stare each other down as he continues to watch me amused while the whole class laughs along with our back-and-forth. You’d think because this happens in every lesson of every class that I’m forced to sit next to him, they’d get bored of it. You’d think he would. But oh no, not Quest Strikers. Enraging me has become his new favorite hobby and my gateway into popularity. You heard it right folks! All of a sudden I, Duppy Daiquiri, am on the social map.

‘Quest, Daiquiri, must we do this every lesson? I have an English class I’d like to finish teaching?’ Mrs Taylor says as I continue to shoot Quest evils and he continues to smile at me like a smug little nob.

‘Smiling Lawyer’ by Kevin McShane / is licensed by CC by 2.0.

‘No, Mrs Taylor, we really mustn't - nor should I, or any of my other peers have to put up with it. I suggest we move seats or better yet! Kick Quest out of the class and while we’re at it send his sorry ass back to Tenison’s.’

‘I went Harris.’

‘I don’t care.’ I flutter my eyelashes at him irritably as everyone sniggers and Mrs Taylor sighs, trying to pretend she isn’t amused. This fills me with more rage, and I didn’t think that was possible.

‘Daiquiri, I think you’d both feel better if you just apologised to one and other and we continued with Romeo and Juliette.’

‘Me apologise to him? Mrs Taylor this all started when he interrupted my answer to your question!’

‘I never heard his interruption?’

‘Yeah, she never heard my interruption?’

‘You’re actually a jackass sent from hell aren’t you?’


‘Why are you so mad at me?’

‘Why are you such a jerk!?’

‘Why are you such a priss?’

‘Why am I such a what!?’

‘Daiquiri, Quest, outside right now, we’ll discuss this after class.’ Mrs Taylor opens the door as I turn to Quest angrily.

‘You see?’ He laughs as we stand, making our way out of the classroom.

The door shuts behind us as Quest lets out a loud amused breath leaning his head back against the wall and placing his hands in his pockets like he’s dripping with oh-so-much swagger while I grit my teeth together, cross my arms and look straight ahead at the wall. Calling me a priss. Me who owns more tracksuit bottoms than dresses, has more slipper socks than make-up and owns not one thing without a hidden food stain somewhere. ‘Jackass.’ I mumble out loud as Quest smirks covering his mouth and I press my lips together irritably.

‘Wow.’ He says unable to hide his amusement as I clench my fists so hard together they shake. ‘I must reaaaally get under your skin ay?’ I continue to stare away from him, for I am the bigger person. ‘DQ? It’s rude to ignore people when they’re talking to you?’ Do not respond Daiquiri, you are a grown up. You are mature. You do not need to bite. ‘DQ are you upset because I was right about Fanning?’

‘You know what you can do with that smug attitude? You can shove it up your smug ass if you can find space next to your smug head and everyone else’s in this damn school that worships you because I — Quest Strikers — do not, in fact I? I am the only person that see’s you for what you really are. An insecure, wannabe ‘badman’ with so little to offer the world you have to laugh at it instead — finding everything oh-so-amusing just so you can find something to smile about in your otherwise miserable, lonely, worthless world. So don’t talk to me about Fanning. Don’t talk to me at all! Because I am the one girl in this school, that isn’t under your spell Quest. So you wanna get on my bad side? Congratulations, I hate you.’ I turn away from him panting from the rage as he continues to watch me and his smile starts to widen.

‘That was deep DQ. I like you. You’re on my list.’

‘Oh my God don’t you get it Quest? I don’t seek your approval like everybody else, I in fact don’t care, if you never came back.’

‘But then who would you have to tell you about your cheating boyfriends?’ I freeze, my mouth still open from ranting as he smiles at me innocently and I swear, something in me actually explodes. I turn away from him and try to breathe. Focus on the wall. Not on that nagging feeling in my heart that makes me want to cry. Stupid Quest. Stupid Fanning. Stupid school I’m forced to come to everyday. ‘Daiquiriii?’ He sings as I lock my jaw so hard I’m sure it’s stuck there. ‘Hey Daiquiri? Honestly? No BS?’ I roll my eyes turning to him as his smile suddenly changes to something genuine, something I don’t want to punch…as much. ‘When I found out about Fanning, I was disappointed. You deserved better than that.’ Thud-thud. I stare back at my nemesis as he suddenly grows morality while he keeps his sincere, genuine gaze on mine. I shake my head, looking away.

Nice try Quest. You’re still a jackass.

‘FAIL stamp’ by Hans Gerwitz / is licensed by CC by 2.0.

Katrina shuffles side-to-side uncomfortably as people look in through the glass on the closed doors and I wait patiently with my arms crossed. In times like these, the fact that I grew up in Heath tends to leak out. My ‘dark-side’ if you will. But I’m sure I have it locked up and under control.

‘Listen yeah, I didn’t mean…it’s just that… Look Ricky is my boyfriend and I know you guys might have had a thing or whatever but I’d appreciate it if-’

‘Hold up right now. I know you’re not about to talk to me as if I wasn’t there? This isn’t one of your ‘new besties’ you’re talking to now Katrina it’s me, and I’m not gonna have you lying in my face and disrespecting me in front of everyone in our class like I’m an idiot. Now I’ve let you chat crap about me to everyone for about a year now. The least you can do is be honest with me now we’re face-to-face.’

‘But he is my boyfriend though!’

‘Congratulations, and he was also my best friend years before he even met you.’

‘So what’s your point?’

‘What’s my point?’ The ghetto has been released.My point is that the minute you told me you were together I warned you what would happen. My point is that despite my warning, you wanted to be with him anyway regardless of how much you cussed him when you thought that I liked him before. My point is despite my every intuition I actually trusted you and gave you the benefit of the doubt when you told me I was your ‘best friend’ and all I got in return was you ripping my actual best friend away from me, turning everyone in our entire building and then some against me and betraying what little faith I had in you that you wouldn’t be everything that you’re being right now! My point Katrina, is that if I wanted your fricken boyfriend-’

‘You would have taken him.’ I pause mid-rant as Katrina looks up at me with red cheeks, suddenly bursting into tears.

‘Crying’ by James / is licensed by CC by 2.0.

I admit, I didn’t see that coming…

Stay tuned for Honey’s Heroes…