When being Type A means you’re taken advantage of

why women become default planners, and how we’re solving it

Lucy Zhao
Lucy Zhao
Jun 16, 2018 · 3 min read

It’s 2018, and technology organizes our lives. We have tampons delivered to our doors, algorithms that predict our favorite flick, custom acne cream and teeth straightening molds that don’t require stepping foot into a doctor’s office. Yet, when it comes to celebrating the hallmark events in your life — your dad’s 60th birthday party, your best friend’s bachelorette, your wedding, you’re stuck planning with tools from the ’90s: calling vendors, getting their voicemail, reviewing pdf quotes, and faxing contracts.

I hear from women who end up in this “planner” role all the time:

“I’m just Type A, so I have to plan everything.”

Type A
a personality type characterized by ambition, high energy, and competitiveness

Why does ambition mean you’re stuck as organizer?

These gender role expectations follow us throughout our lives.

The idea that women enjoy planning events is not reality. See, we’re tired of these tropes — little girls dreaming about their weddings since they were four à la 27 Dresses and Bride Wars. No one actually keeps scrapbooks of flower arrangements and linen colors. And when it comes to planning your wedding, there’s no good option. You can shell out $$$ for an expensive wedding planner or scour the web and DIY. Planning a wedding takes 250+ hours over the course of year. With that time, you could literally qualify to fly a commercial airplane, get that promotion you’re after, read 50 books, or launch a company.

Is planning a wedding really so hard?

96% of people say it’s stressful to plan a wedding, and 71% say planning is worse than having bad credit, buying a home, or applying to college. The industry is opaque, and vendors don’t provide pricing or availability online. You have to call for that information (and yes, their business hours end when you get off work), and most people are making wedding related purchases for the first time without a sense for what things should cost. The result of this asymmetric information is vendors charging a wedding markup of ~20%. Vox covered this problem in 2016, but no one has bothered to solve it.

Stop being the secretary for your wedding.

We are women who have felt marginalized into default event planners, and while we value bringing people together, we shouldn’t be expected to bear the burden of creating those experiences. There should be an affordable, honest, fast alternative — someone to serve us for once.

Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash

If you’re in the midst of wedding planning, get help from Honeydew.

If you like what you read, recommend this article to friends & spread the message.

Yours truly,
a Type A writer & founder

Honeydew Reads

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