Day 11 — The Unicycle Mindset
If I asked you to try riding this unicycle, outside of a few of you who might have always secretly dreamed of mastering it or those who came by the skill purely by accident, most of you would probably not have the first idea where to start. You’d give it your best effort and likely fall a dozen or so times partly from lack of skill and partly from laughter at the ridiculousness of the task that’s been set upon you. Some of you would give up realizing it’s not for you and some of you might decide to pursue lessons because, though challenging, it was a lot of fun. You probably wouldn’t get angry or feel terribly embarrassed.
However, when we face challenges like trying a new piece of tech or attempting a new recipe, in the event of failure, we can often crumble and disintegrate into frustration, anger, and embarrassment even when we’re not performing for anyone but ourselves. Why is this?
Expectations
Riding a unicycle is an uncommon skill for most folks. Thus, there’s no expectation that you should be able to learn it or know how to do it. You also don’t have an inner expectation that it’s a skill you should easily be able to pick up. It’s easy to laugh when you mess up and don’t get it immediately.
Curse of Knowledge
As adults, we tend to be far removed from the experience of learning something for the first time. We forget the struggle and awkwardness of attempting something when we’re new to it and how long it takes to gain some level of comfort and proficiency. This combined with our high expectations can lead to frustration.
Practice
We also tend not to allow ourselves practice time. Every time we attempt a skill, we view it as performance. If we engage in a task and it’s not up to performance caliber, we get angry with ourselves and stop the flow of energy. There’s a focus on what we messed up rather than looking at it as mindfulness in noticing where we can improve.
The Unicycle Mindset
This week when you try something new, engage the unicycle mindset. Remind yourself that this is the first time you’re trying something and you will probably fall off and that’s ok. In Buddhism, there is a word, shoshin, which means “beginner’s mind.” The idea is that one should approach a skill, even at advanced levels, with an openness and the expectation that practice will be required. Embrace the awkward feeling and remind yourself that it won’t be around very long. “No human being, after all, is experienced before being inexperienced, wise before naive, polished before clumsy" (not my words but it’s a quote I’ve liked for a number of years).
I’d love to hear how you’re using the unicycle mindset to take some of the pressure off of new skills you’re trying to master and new habits you’re trying to form. Leave a comment or tweet me @weberswords.
