The One Book Every Thirty-Something Should Read
A review of Ghosts by Dolly Alderton.
Adulthood is tough — not to mention navigating it as a single thirty-something living amidst a mass-market romance culture that holds the power to break down even the strongest of us.
Dolly Alderton gets it — she really, really does.
Unapologetic, female-led and utterly inspiring, Ghosts should be part of every millennial’s bookshelf — the sooner, the better.
Here’s why it’s such a hit.
Ghosts by Dolly Alderton
Following Nina, a 32-year-old food blogger, Ghosts examines the highs and lows of losing and finding love — again and again.
When Nina succumbs to peer pressure and meets the man of her dreams through an online dating app, she gives him her all — until he disappears, leaving a void so large and painful it breaks Nina apart.
Ghosts provides a well-rounded review of modern patriarchy and its displays in the world of dating. From first dates to break-up conversations, Dolly forces a mirror up to all our faces.
The sexiest, most exciting, romantic, explosive feeling in the world is a matter of a few centimetres of skin being stroked for the first time in a public place. The first confirmation of desire. The first indication of intimacy. You only get that feeling with a person once.
Cleverly employing a group of married and single friends, Ghosts serves as an observation of key differences between those happily — or unhappily — settled, and those still looking for love.
I feel a bit tricked, to be honest. I’ve been told that I can buy anything I want. Or work for it. Or control it on an app. But I can’t buy love. I can’t get it on an app.
Through poignant conversations and continuous self-reflection, Nina challenges the commonplace views of women and their perceived roles — are we mothers, lovers or warriors?
Where do we learn to do it? How do we find a way to cry quietly on our own, in showers and loos and into pillowcases, then stand up again unassisted and with no words of encouragement?
Alongside the exploration of love, Dolly examines loneliness and a sense of feeling lost. Is relationship identity-forming? Is being in love a fundamental right? Is men’s approval ingrained as the key to contentment?
I enjoyed the various definitions of love shared across the pages. From unrequited love to one taken for granted, Ghosts made my heart skip a beat through often relatable heartbreak bouncing off the pages.
Or maybe that’s all love is. So much is how we perceive someone and the memories we have of them, rather than the facts of who they are. Maybe instead of saying I love you we should say I imagine you.
Timely, relevant and heart-wrenching, Ghosts is a must-read for every thirty-something navigating life on their own — it will soothe, support and radiate much-appreciated warmth throughout.
