Common Mistakes When Hooking Up for the First Time

Ryan Bird
hookupguru
Published in
4 min readJun 28, 2024
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So, you’re finally going to do it — hooking up for the first time! It’s exciting, nerve-wracking, and maybe a bit confusing. But don’t worry, we’ve got your back. Let’s dive into the most common mistakes people make during their first time hooking up and how you can avoid them. Ready? Let’s go!

1. Overthinking Everything 👉

Getting too caught up in your own head is a huge buzzkill. When you’re preparing for a first time hookup, it’s easy to worry about every little detail. Did you shave properly? Are you wearing the right outfit? Relax! Overthinking will only make you more nervous. Instead, focus on enjoying the moment and going with the flow. Your partner is probably just as nervous as you are.

You might find yourself spiraling: “Do I smell okay? Is my hair behaving? What if I suddenly forget how to kiss?” Spoiler alert: everyone worries about this stuff. So take a deep breath and remember, it’s not a job interview, it’s supposed to be fun!

2. Skipping the Prep Work 👉

Thinking you can just wing it is a big mistake. Preparation is key to a smooth first time hookup. This means everything from personal hygiene to setting the mood. Make sure you feel fresh and confident. A little bit of planning goes a long way.

Showing up without showering or forgetting protection can make things awkward fast. Avoid these blunders by making a checklist: shower, breath mints, protection. It’s not a camping trip, but a little preparation can save you from major embarrassment.

3. Ignoring Consent 👉

One of the biggest mistakes is not talking about consent. It might feel awkward, but discussing boundaries and what you’re comfortable with is important. Consent is sexy and necessary.

Things can get confusing if you haven’t discussed what’s okay and what’s off-limits. Suddenly, it’s like playing a game without knowing the rules. Save yourself the confusion and talk about consent beforehand. It’s not a mood killer; it’s a respect builder.

4. Forgetting the Protection 👉

This one’s a no-brainer, but it’s surprising how often people forget. Not having protection can turn a fun night into a stressful situation. Always have condoms or other forms of protection ready.

Thinking, “Nah, my partner will handle it” is a gamble you don’t want to take. Be the responsible adult here. It’s like going to a party without snacks — you might still have fun, but it’s not as satisfying.

Read also: What Is a One-Night Stand?

5. Expecting Porn Star Skills 👉

Comparing your first time hookup to a scene from a movie? Big mistake. Real-life hookups are messy, awkward, and wonderfully imperfect. Don’t pressure yourself to perform like a seasoned pro.

If you’re expecting a cinematic experience, complete with perfectly timed music and flawless moves, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Real life is more like a blooper reel, and that’s okay. Embrace the awkwardness and have a laugh.

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6. Neglecting Communication 👉

Silence is not golden in the bedroom. Lack of communication can lead to misunderstandings and awkward moments. Talk about what you like, what feels good, and any concerns you have.

Nobody is a mind reader, especially when nerves are high. If something feels good, say so. If it doesn’t, say that too. Clear communication can turn a good hookup into a great one.

7. Forgetting Foreplay 👉

Jumping straight to the main event is a rookie mistake. Foreplay is very important for a satisfying first time hookup. It helps both partners get comfortable and excited.

Think of foreplay as the appetizer to a delicious meal. Skipping it is like going straight to dessert — you’re missing out on some delightful moments. Take your time and enjoy the fun before the main course.

8. Being Too Serious 👉

Taking things too seriously can kill the mood. Hooking up for the first time should be fun and lighthearted. Laugh at the awkward moments and don’t stress about small mishaps.

If things don’t go as planned, just laugh it off. It’s not an Olympic event, and there are no judges holding up scorecards. Have fun and don’t take yourself too seriously.

9. Unrealistic Expectations 👉

Expecting fireworks and instant connection can set you up for disappointment. First-time hookups are rarely perfect, and that’s okay. Keep your expectations realistic and focus on enjoying the moment.

If you’re expecting a Hollywood-style romance with fireworks and an instant connection, you might be let down. Reality is often a bit more awkward and clumsy, but that’s what makes it real and memorable.

10. Ignoring Aftercare 👉

Once the fun part is over, don’t forget about the aftercare. Cuddling, talking, and checking in with each other can make a big difference. It helps both partners feel connected and cared for.

Bolting for the door immediately after can leave both of you feeling a bit empty. Spend some time together afterward — it’s the cherry on top of your first hookup experience.

Conclusion 📌

Hooking up for the first time can be a mix of excitement and nerves, but avoiding these common mistakes can help make it a positive experience. Remember to relax, communicate, and have fun. Your first hookup is just the beginning of your adventures in intimacy. Enjoy it!

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Ryan Bird
hookupguru

Hello! I'm Ryan Bird, an editorial assistant at Hookupguru.com with over six years of experience testing hookup sites and sharing the latest casual sex trends.