How to Become Sexually Confident

Elaine Chao
hookupguru
Published in
5 min read1 day ago

Today, I’m going to share some thoughts on sexual confidence. It might seem like a mystery, but it’s not some elusive trait reserved for a lucky few. It’s about feeling comfortable in your own skin and enjoying intimacy without stress or self-doubt. Wondering what does it mean to be comfortable with your sexuality? The secret lies in how much a person is self-aware, open, and, as funny as that sounds, brave.

How to Become Sexually Confident
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Dr. Ruth Westheimer, a well-known sex therapist, said, “When it comes to sex, the most important six inches are the ones between the ears.” In other words, the answer to how to be more confident sexually starts with the mind. Your thoughts and attitudes about sex significantly influence your experiences.

The Mind-Body Connection 🧠

Our minds and bodies are deeply connected, especially regarding sex. Feeling good about your body and embracing it significantly helps sexual confidence. Start by appreciating what your body does for you. Celebrate the sensations and experiences it allows you to have.

In my experience, one of the most fruitful steps in feeling confident during sex was learning to focus on sensations rather than appearance. By shifting the focus from how I looked to how I felt, I could truly be in the moment and be comfortable with sex.

Use Tantric Techniques for Confidence 🧘‍♀️

Tantra isn’t just about exotic positions or mystic practices. It helps you to be present and connected with yourself and your partner. Tantric techniques can help you feel confident during sex by encouraging mindfulness and deep breathing.

For example, try synchronized breathing with your partner. This simple exercise can create a deep sense of connection and intimacy, so it gets easier to become more sexually confident. Slow down, take deep breaths, and really tune into each other’s rhythms.

Express Fantasies on Paper 📝

Ever thought about writing down your fantasies? It might sound a bit out there, but putting pen to paper can be incredibly liberating. Expressing your desires in writing helps you clarify what you want and communicate it to your partner.

This is an opportunity where you’re creating a story starring yourself and your partner. Describe the setting, the actions, and the feelings involved. This exercise can help you how to be confident in bed by making your fantasies feel more real and achievable. Not to mention that your written fantasies can be a fun way to connect with your partner as well.

Become Sexually Confident
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Channel Your Favorite Fictional Characters 🎭

Sometimes, a little role-playing can go a long way in building confidence. Channeling your favorite fictional characters can be a fun and empowering way how to be sexually confident. Think about characters who have the traits you admire — whether it’s the boldness of a superhero or the sultriness of a movie star.

By stepping into a character’s shoes, you can temporarily set aside your insecurities and embrace a new persona. This can help you seek out different aspects of your sexuality and be comfortable with your sexuality.

Toys For A Touch of Playfulness 🍌

Toys aren’t just for kids — they can be a great way for adults to enjoy their sexuality, too. By adding toys to your intimate life, you can add a playful element that helps you relax and be more confident during sex.

Start with something simple, like a small vibrator or a set of silk ties. The key is to communicate openly with your partner about what you’re interested in trying. By being playful and adventurous, you can find new sensations and build sexual confidence.

Confidence from Candid Photography 📸

You don’t have to be a professional model to enjoy the confidence improvement from a candid photo shoot. Taking intimate photos can help you see yourself in a new light and appreciate your body’s beauty.

Set up a private, comfortable space and take some photos that make you feel sexy and empowered. You don’t need fancy equipment — even a smartphone can do the trick. This exercise can help you feel confident during sex by reminding you of your inner and outer beauty.

Try Out Fetishes and Kinks Safely 🔒

Fetishes and kinks can be a great way to become more sexually confident. Just approach it with an open mind and clear communication.

Start by discussing your interests with your partner in a non-judgmental way. Set boundaries and establish a safe word to make sure that both of you feel comfortable and secure. By exploring new aspects of your sexuality safely, you can gain a deeper understanding of your desires and be more confident during sex.

Embrace Your Reflection With Some Mirror Magic 🪞

Mirrorwork might feel a bit awkward at first, but it’s a powerful tool for building sexual confidence. Spend some time looking at yourself — don’t just glance, but really look. Appreciate your body for what it is, without judgment.

Try adding affirmations to your work with your reflection. Say things like, “I am sexy,” “I am confident,” and “I love my body.” Over time, these affirmations can help you internalize good feelings about yourself and be comfortable with your sexuality.

5 Tips for Gaining Confidence Sexually ❤️

  1. Try New Things — Don’t be afraid to experiment and find out what you enjoy. New experiences can be exciting and confidence-boosting.
  2. Create a Sensual Playlist — Music can set the mood and help you relax. Choose songs that make you feel sexy and confident.
  3. Wear Scented Oils or Perfumes — A pleasing scent can make your mood better and you will feel more attractive.
  4. Focus on Your Partner’s Pleasure — Shifting your focus to your partner can reduce performance anxiety and make sex more enjoyable for both of you.
  5. Learn from Experiences — Reflect on your sexual experiences to understand what you enjoyed and what you can do better. This will help you be more confident during sex.

Conclusion 📌

In the end, sexual confidence isn’t about having all the answers or being flawless. It’s about being comfortable in your skin, simply appreciating your own self, and sharing those moments with someone special. So go ahead, channel your inner sexy superhero. And if all else fails, just laugh it off and keep things light — confidence is sexy, but so is having a good time!

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Elaine Chao
hookupguru

Hi, I'm Elainee Chao, a London-based sex blogger at Hookupguru.com and educator with a psychology degree, providing practical real-world dating advice.