How To Give An Erotic Massage? The Ultimate Step-By-Step Guide

Ryan Bird
Published in
5 min readJun 7, 2021


Have you ever tried giving a sexual massage to your partner? Or maybe you want to do it tonight but don’t know where to start? Keep reading — this article has some pretty useful erotic massage tips that’ll help you make your partner even more turned on and bring some sensuality to your sex life.

Best sensual massage tips and tricks: turn on your partner in no time

For many people, foreplay is quite an important activity before having sex. It helps you relax, free your mind, and get turned on way faster. But not so many people consider giving an erotic massage to their partner as foreplay or part of it. And this is a true mistake. It’s not only about working with your partner’s erogenous zones but also other body parts to make sexual energy flow through their whole body. You can even do it without your hands! Sounds interesting, right?

What is an erotic massage?

An erotic or sexual massage is a kind of foreplay and a nice alternative to well-known techniques like fingering, handjob, or cunnilingus. A sensual massage, in contrast with the ordinary one, helps not only relax but also fills your partner with sexual energy, passion, and new sensations. Different erotic massage techniques open up different feelings, focus on different parts of your body, and help you discover your sexuality in a new light. It’s also a great way to become closer to your partner and feel each other’s bodies better.

What sensual massage techniques are there?

To make this experience more genuine and exciting each time, try different massage sensual techniques every time you want to do it. Each technique meets one particular need: one makes your partner more relaxed, another one turns them on in no time, the other helps discover new erogenous zones, etc. The most popular techniques include a hands-free one, basically blowing your breath through your partner’s body, fire cupping, relaxing, and scalp massage.

Blowing your breath through your partner’s lips, shoulders, or back creates a little cooling feeling that brings some pleasant temptation. Fire cupping used to be an ancient technique to heal sicknesses and strengthen your partner’s body, but now it’s quite an exciting activity that you can even involve in your BDSM games. Fire cupping creates suction on your partner’s back, which has a warming and empowering effect. Scalp massage helps blood run better through your body, gives your partner an energy flow, and opens up more senses.

What are the best sensual massage tips?

There are several things you should do to give the best sexual massage:

  • Always improve your skills and try new techniques.
  • Always ask your partner if they like it and what they’re expecting from the erotic massage.
  • Pay attention to your partner’s body: are their muscles tensed up, are they silent, and what about their breathing?

You should always pay attention to the way your partner feels about this and maintain healthy sexual communication: talk about each other’s preferences, desires, and what went or might go wrong. Try to remember each other’s comments and fears to avoid unpleasant experiences in the future.

So how to give a sexual massage?

Giving an erotic massage is a very pleasant and easy activity, but you should always prepare yourself and your partner for it. Follow the steps below to make this experience unforgettable for both of you.

Step 1. Set the scene

Make sure nothing disturbs you during the process. Play chillax music, prepare all the stuff you may need, check if your nails are smooth, and turn off any alarms and all mobile phones. To get the desired effect, avoid any interruptions.

Step 2. Prepare the room

It has to be all cozy and comfy. It’s also very important to make it warm. It’ll help your hands keep the right temperature and not get too cold, as it’s not very pleasant to feel cold during a sensual massage. You can use the heater to warm up a blanket so your partner can feel great immediately.

Step 3. Take care of the details

Massage candles can be of great help here. They not only smell great, but you can also use them to melt and pour the wax over your partner’s body for more extreme and “hot” sensations. They don’t burn your skin and won’t leave any scars or blisters afterward. And what about oils? Sure, they’ll work too! Just pour some drops over your partner’s back or breast and gently massage your partner to let those great scents fill the room. You should be careful with oils before having sex, though. Oils damage the latex structure, so you should make sure there’s no contact between a condom and oil on your partner’s body.

Step 4. Make an introductory move

The first move has to be gentle and slow. Make it last for at least a minute so that you can feel each other’s warmth and set the pace of the process. Don’t make any rapid moves, don’t scratch your partner’s back, and don’t do anything your partner won’t like. During the first move, you should also ask your partner if everything’s fine and if they’re ready to proceed.

Step 5. Get to the main act

As you keep massaging your partner’s body, ask if they like it all from time to time. Don’t be afraid to experiment and offer something new. You can even involve some foreplay parts like gentle fingering or handy. It’ll be more passionate and sensual for both of you. Plus, who said anything against toys? They’re a great helping hand for both men and women and including them in your sexual massage activity will only make you hotter and more open-minded in your partner’s eyes.

Step 6. It’s all up to you!

After an erotic massage session, you’re free to do whatever you feel like doing. Usually, you feel what your partner wants, and you gradually start doing it after all. This can be sex, just cuddling, or something else. Here, it’s all about the way you feel.

Knowing how to give an erotic massage opens you to a whole new world of opportunities. You can make it all different every time, create new techniques, and experiment with oils, toys, music, and so on. A sensual massage is a great way to either relax or get energized for action, learn more about your and your partner’s sexuality, and discover new sensations and aspects of pleasure. It’s totally worth trying, especially if you want to bring something new to your sex life.



Ryan Bird

Hello! I'm Ryan Bird, an editorial assistant at with over six years of experience testing hookup sites and sharing the latest casual sex trends.